A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys : ),Ummm I feel really inappropriate writing this but, I wanna try anal sex but im scared. I've tried it once or twice but it hurt toooooo much so I stopped. Is it gonna hurt everytime or just it just take time to feel pleasureable just as if it was vaginal sex. I also don't know how to tongue kiss and im about to be 18 and have been with my bf for almost a year and yet we still haven't kissed. At 1st I thought it was gross cz when I was younger my ex boyfriend rammed his tongue in my mouth and it was gross so I've been turned off since then. But I want to kiss my boyfriend he's so amazing and desereves to be kissed but I'm afraid that I'll do really bad. PLEASE HELP! : - (
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008): anal sex is really more of a mental turn on more than anything. For the man its a feeling of domination and for the woman its a feeling of being dominated. Most women that enjoy anal sex are often have "rape fantasies" so if that's you it is worth exploring. As far as the pain goes the best way to work your way up to full penetration is to use plenty of lube and let him start with his fingers first. This will help you get more relaxed which is a must. I really don't want to get graphic but there is a circular group of muscles that naturally keep the anus closed and they are the ones that cause the pain. Once the penis has penatrated past those muslces they will relax naturally. I would highly suggest that you be the one to control the rate of penatration. I hope this helps and don't forget to use massive amounts of lube.
A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (22 April 2008):
 Why on earth do you want to try anal sex? It's nothing special - not when you're properly equipped for normal sex!! It won't ever feel the same as vaginal sex; some people find it pleasurable but it's not the same and never will be. Also, it really doesn't do a lot of good to your back passage (to put it politely!) and there is a far greater risk of catching something nasty - not just STDs but other infections. Your backside isn't designed for having things rammed up it. If you really, really want to do it, then use plenty of lubrication. It will hurt less the more you do it, but I don't think it's ever going to be comfortable. Your sphincter, the muscle that controls that particular opening, will become weaker and more ready to open easily - which might be good news in reducing the discomfort of anal sex but not particularly good news when it comes to controlling your bowels as you get older.
As for tongue kissing, no one can tell you how to do it - other than practise. Take it slowly, and enjoy it.
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