A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi thereI'm 21 and so is my boyfriend of nearly 3 years, and a few days ago he sprung it on me that he has a fetish for rubber.He could see myshocked expession i think and quickly changed the subject, ive been thinking and i don't really have any vices like that.what should i do? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Fade878  +, writes (5 November 2007):
 What about it makes you uncomfortable? Do you think it is not a wholesome love he feels for you then? Some sexual fantasies need to remain fantasies.
I think you are just two people with different points of views on what is acceptable in the bedroom.
Maybe you don't like the idea where he found out he liked this fetish.
Pornography does alot more harm than those who indulge in it would like to admit. It teaches people a way of life and sexual options that a healthy person would not conceive of on their own.
Maybe that is why you find it offensive.
The thing about porn. I think it is unfortunate that so many fall prey to it. I think it is unfortunate that so many rely on it for thrills. I think it is unfortunate that it distorts what should be occuring between man and woman, husband and wife. The act of intimacy is more than sexual in nature. The act of physical intimacy should be one of respect, reverance, trust, love, and sharing.
Maybe this is why you feel shocked and hurt by this new discovery. It is not some fantasy a five year old girl has of falling in love and being loved. They think of it in a pure, beautiful, loving way.
Maybe you are fearful if you give into this one fetish, it will turn into another, then another...and soon you are discovering he wants and expects you to do things you know to be not based in love but lust.
Think what it is you want, expect in a partner. What does love mean to you.
I say once you think this all over and see where your boundaries are, what you will accept into your life, what behaviours you would encourage, what standards you want to live by-you'll have a better understanding of what you need to do next.
The next step is to talk about it. Deal with it. And work together to see what you both want and expect from one another in all aspects of a relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): its only the same thing if you get turned on by blokes that ride bikes or men that wear rigger boots its all just fantasy. if that what gets him going whats the harm. if you really dont like the idea then try to explain things to him im not saying that you should go the full hog and dress up as cat woman totally in rubber but maybe a dress that you like or boots or a skirt that you could ware once in a while to suit the mood maybe that would be a starting place but if your totally against it tell him the truth and dont try and make him feel guilty about telling you. he told you because he trusts you and for no other reason maybe you will find a fantasy of your own that the two of you could share one day so dont shoot him down for having his now. you never know it might suprise you the way that it makes you feel and he might go off the idea and you may want it to continue. ever thought of that. good luck
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A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (5 November 2007):
 You have been together for three years and have come to the point in your relationship where you are comfortable in saying what you want and desire. You will have something in your mind that maybe you would like to try out.Many men like different things and to me rubber is pretty mild.Check out http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/or http://www.annsummers.com/They could give you some dressing up ideas.Enjoy ;)Peaches
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A
male
reader, Friend Tom  + ♥, writes (5 November 2007):
 Vice? Hon, it is not a "vice". It is no different than somebody who gets turned on by a gal in a mini-skirt or a kilt. He is not a "perv". Lighten up. You probably have a few "fantasies" of your own.
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