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female
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*vanna22
writes: Hi, I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. He leaves an hour and a half away from me and he doesn't live in his college but goes there to see his friends everynight. He lied to me before about smoking. I'm straight edge and he swore to me for nine months that he didn't smoke but I caught him. I think if he lies to me for long like that about things, he's probbably lying to me about a lot of other things. Everytime he goes to college he tells me he'll call me in about an hour but he ends up not calling me until the next day. I hate this because I wait up til' 3 or 4 in the morning to wait for his call. He's never responsible. I really think the best thing is to just break up, but it's so hard because i've been with him for more than three years and ever since I graduated high school and I moved to this town a few months ago, I have NO friends or anyone to rely on. My mom doesn't comprehend me. She's mean and even when I try to make her proud she gives me negative vibes. He's the only one I have in this whole world but I'm not happy with what he's doing. I want to break up with him but I don't wanna be alone. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tiagre +, writes (23 September 2006):
First off, you're right to be suspicious if he lied to you for so long, because he clearly doesn't think it's a very big deal to lie to you.
This is clearly bringing you down, and I think you should start making ultimatums. Tell him that you sometimes wait up late for him to call, and it's making you tired. Tell him to call earlier or not promise to call. If he does it again tell him the same thing and then confront him.
He needs to understand that you don't feel like you can trust him right now. If he gets offended or upset, explain clearly why you feel like this. If he honestly cares about you, he will make more effort, poin blank. If he doesn't, he's not good enough to go out with anyway. If he's making you miserable and you just want out, break up with him. I'm sure the apologies will come flooding out.
And remember, you don't need someone else to make you conplete. You are a whole person, even without him.
Take care xxx
A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (23 September 2006):
 You should start by talking to him and explaining to him how you feel about the fact if he can lie about something silly like smoking then he could be lying about more important things like cheating and ask him out right.
It could just be that he is use to doing what he wants and acting this way but now your closer to him you notice it more, or it could be because your closer to him he is kind of rebelling against the relationship.
If you want to finish it with him do it, don't stay with him because you don't know anybody because you can put yourself out there and try and make friends, staying with someone you don't want to be with is unfair on them and untrue to yourself but I would talk to him first and see what comes of that chat before you make any other big decisions.
Good luck :o)
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