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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a long term relationship (8+years) with my fiance. We have a sore spot in our relationship - my girlfriends. We don't meet often because of distance and careers (maybe 3-4 times a year for dinner) but he gets very upset he is not included. I explain it's just girl talk but he always gives me a hard time about it. Here is the problem - the girls and I are planning a spa weekend. One night, 2 days on the weekend. I know this will be a major fight when I bring this up. I really want to be with my girlfriends but I don't want to create a rift in my relationship either.Any advice how to approach this? Thanks!
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female
reader, joeymac +, writes (6 September 2006):
i think your fiance has some insecurities and trust issues! when you ask your partner if you can see your friends it shouldn't really be a question! and if he answers no then TELL him you're going. i know you said you don't want to cause a rift but you cannot let someone control you like this it is unacceptable. everyone should be allowed to see their friends and have a social life its healthy. does your partner have many friends of his own? if he does and he sees them when he feels like it then he has no right to stop you. if he doesn't then maybe thats why its such a sore spot for him, maybe he's jealous. good luck x
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