A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:He's had an alchohol abuse problem for a while now. I've stopped trying to change him,but when I did,I used anger, neglect, ridicule, love, patience, criticism,and other negative tactics. But all this did was to cause him to disassociate himself from me. Unfortunately, we are married, and I'm trying to hang in there. I've compromised my values, family time with my children and tried to cater to his needs. Now I am at home, but he's not every day. Oh yes, I have peace in his absences, but I am also lonely when he's away. I'm confused, if I am to fight for our marriage - I don't know how (other than prayer) If I choose to leave - I don't because, I don't know where to go. WHAT WOULD YOU DO?mbj
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female
reader, sunflower8862  +, writes (24 November 2008):
Hi, i was going through what you were for years, although my children are not his, they really hate him, i have been away from him 2 weeks now, but i am sure he will come back yet again and tell me he has changed again, oh he has, but that will only last a month or so. dont get me wrong i do miss him, but when he is on it it is like your walking on eggshells, cos they are so tired and grumpy. i just hope and pray that i will be stronger this time, as i have to listen to my 2,teenagers about the way he treats me, i was having trouble with cheek from them, as they thought they could speak to me the way he done, so it is not very good for kids to grow up in this. I wish you all the best.
A
female
reader, MamiOf2 +, writes (1 November 2008):
 I am in a similar situation. I say 'similar' because I dont know your entire story, but I can relate to what you have said. I am married, with two children 3 and under, and i feel almost trapped in a way. But you have to think, like I have been lately, that there are women out there in similar or even worse situations, who may have more kids than we do, and less help, and they still leave the bad situation they are in and find a better life. You can do it if they can, that's what i've been trying to tell myself lately anyways .... good luck ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): hey im sorry for you and your children. Im right were you are now and its the hardest thing ive tackled in my life , im sure it doesnt go away,im cross everyday putting our selves through such misery.Do what you can, and what you think is right,good luck to you .........
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2008): I say GO! Your husband will only get help if and when he wants it. I would kick him out and change the locks. You should not raise your children with a role model of an alchoholic in the house! Your decision to stay with him regardless of his habit is actually saying "it's ok"! Do you not have family that can help you? I would also like to add that if you leave him... no doubt he will crawl back to you looking for sympathy! Be strong and say NO. Alchoholics can be very manipulative. Take the precious time you are putting into him and give it to yourself and your children. You don't get it back you know? Good luck..xx
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