A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My Abusive Ex Boyfriend...The abuse started on my 21st birthday just last July. He beat me bad and I was really scared. I was new to the City and staying with him till I found a place so I did not know anyone yet. I stayed in the relationship, and the abuse seemed to minimize, still there with verbal and pushing/shaking (he didnt slap me again). He scares me, but for some reason I want to be with him. I have broke up with him and its been a couple weeks. He says he wont do it again, but it is hard to believe, because he has lost my trust. I would appriciate any advise to pick me up and forget about him. Please help, how do I get over him?
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female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Hun, I've been here. DO NOT GO BACK TO HIM.
He will treat you the same way he has been doing.
Please, find someone who'll respect you and treat you right. This guy won't change and God only knows what he'll do to you if you go back.
Don't talk to him, just tell him you do not want any contact with him - it'll be hard but believe me, it's the best thing you can do.
If you go back to him, he'll know he has complete control over you.
You KNOW that you shouldn't have been treated like this and you can do so much better.
Take care and please listen to me and the other aunts who've written to you.
I was in a similar situation and now I'm with a genuine and sweet guy, you can meet someone who's perfect for you -this guy ain't him. The one you're meant to be with won't make you cry but will be worth all your tears.
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): You have done the best thing you could of done and finished with him, now, STAY AWAY. Yes, i am shouting this as i was a battered wife for 20 years, PLEASE promise me you will not go back? Mine used to cry and beg for me to go back, i did and the torture got worse. He will never change and you should of called the police and had him arrested because he assaulted you and its jumped on very hard now by the police, but years ago when i needed help, the police looked away. It was called 'a domestic'. Take each day as it comes and life will get better, i am living proof! Promise me you will never go back or put up with this crap in the futere. you can get in touch if you want.SENDING YOU BIG HUGS.
TAKE CARE XXXX
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A
female
reader, LethalInjection-x  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Keep telling yourself that you have the right to remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation, and that you deserve someone who can treat you right in all aspects of a relationship.
I've found that lots of girls and women I know of still feel "love" for guys that abuse them, so I would say it's normal to feel for him still.
What you have to think is that obviously he'll tell you anything in order to get you back, but if he was worth your time he would never have crossed this line in the first place, he clearly didn't have enough respect for you.
Maybe he gets a kick out of it, or maybe he just has issues with controlling his temper, either way you shouldn't be at the end of it.
Concentrate on making new friends, join a new club like a gym or anything you enjoy, go out and talk to new people.
Don't look for a relationship, make some strong friendships and feel comfortable before getting closer to anyone again.
Most of all keep your chin up, most guys aren't like this, you didn't deserve what you got, and he didn't and doesn't deserve you.
Keep smiling honey :)
X
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