A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I finally mustered enough courage to kick my partner out.This man has taken so much from me. He's lied, cheated, belittled me and made me feel worthless with abusive comments etc. I've suspected for a while he has narcissistic personality disorder (raised by single mum who adores him, constantly telling him how wonderful he is, the wife he battered brought it on herself etc) I feel incredible relief and feel strong but wonder if anyone has any experience of NPD and what I might expect now. Do you think he will just move on to some other poor woman or will he give me a hard time?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (26 June 2011):
 I don't know if I have experience with NPD, (as people rarely get diagnosed or tell others), but I do have experience with self centered people who believe everyone should kiss the ground they walk on. And my belief is that he will not move on. He'll harass you, and continue to treat you bad in every way he can. He'll want to punish you for daring to stand up to him, and if you find yourself a new man he'll harass you, he can even be violent towards you and the new man.
You might get lucky, maybe he will move on. I don't know how your ex partner was as you haven't described too many features of him. But I can tell you my experience with my father for one. He hasn't been diagnosed NPD, but he's very self centered and claims ownership over people he knows. To such a degree that my mother could not even talk to another man while they were together, he was extremely jealous. When they split up I don't know how he took it as I was too young to remember, but I know that she had to keep her relationships like a secret from him after they broke up. He'd enter her home and tell her what she could and could not do, in her own bloody home.
When her boyfriend moved in to live with us, about a decade later, he harassed her to the point where she had to get a secret phone number because he kept on calling and calling, and spreading dirt about her.He once tried to choke her. He'd call her all sorts of names. Even now, two decades later, he still can't stand her boyfriend (she's still with the same man all these years later). He has also suggested that mom's boyfriend is trying to have a sexual relationship with me, his step daughter. All these things he makes up and says to separate my mothers boyfriend from me and my mother.
So if your ex is anything like my father, he won't leave you alone. He might give you some peace if you remain single, but if you meet someone new he could try to cause hell and try to scare the new man away. Keeping things a secret from him would be advisable, preferably never speak to your ex again.
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