A
female
 ,
*strid
writes:My mother keeps insisting I go out with a boy I cannot stand I always end up upset with her and now she's telling my sister to tell me off because of this fact, I am getting vey upset with my mother and Think she is a bit stupid in her behaviour, any tips to deal with ti? thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Astrid +, writes (25 November 2006):
Astrid is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for your advice it's very nice of you taking the time to answer, the true is I went out with hem 2 times ans I can't just stand him, It was a torture to keep listenig to him about his mean ex and stepmother,his lack of will to work because of most jobs not being liked by him, his friends who go and have sex with prostitutes, he asked me for some cash to pay at the cinema(30 cents or something), asking for expensive things when he knows I'm to pay.. I corrected and translated part of his 14 pages essay for him for free I think, I answered the mobile and loistnted to his iddle chat for ages tryin to be kind.... I do not like him at all and I have not any interesting guys at sight so I just prefer to be alone and I love mom but cannot cope with her like this when the topic ocmes up, I'll try menace of not talking again to her, my sister doesn't help she thinkd it0s strange I am not having se and fun all the time my age
thanks
A
female
reader, Ceilidh +, writes (25 November 2006):
It would be nice if your mother was behaving more maturely here, but unfortunately, she is not. She can't see or doesn't want to believe that you just do not like this boy. And enlisting your sister to tell you off is just plain mean.
Do you still live with your mom? If you don't, you can tell her that if she continues behaving this way, you will not speak to her. If you do live with her, it becomes very tricky to either avoid her or stand up to her. Do you have other family members (maybe your father, an aunt, a grandparent, or an uncle) who you can turn to, who will help you stand up to your mother?
How does this boy behave towards you when you see him? Is he mean? Does he say bad things about you or other people? Does he do anything that you know your mother wouldn't approve of? If he does, share these things with her. If not, unless you want her to continually nag you, you may have to compromise here and go out on a date with him. If he's as awful as you say he is, then it shouldn't be too hard to find things to tell your mother about this boy's behaviour.
Are there any other people who you are interested in dating? If you went out with someone else, would that make her awful behaviour stop? Your query doesn't indicate how old you are, but is it perhaps an issue of her wanting to make sure that you find someone nice to settle down with?
Good luck!
Ceilidh
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2006): Yeah, just go out with the boy. You don't have to take him as your boyfriend right then and there. After your first and/or second date, you can make further rebellion and tell the boy that he's just not someone you see going out with intimately on any level.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2006):
Yeah, rather than fighting with your mother forever about this point, why dont you just go out with him on a couple of dates?
Give him a fair chance and if he turns out to be the wrong guy for you at least you'll have specific information for your mother.
Right now its just opinion vs opinion. And those kind of arguments can go on indefinitly
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