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anonymous
writes: Ok I have been with this guy for about a month and he recently just went back to school and I am going crazy missing him. I don't know if I should stay with him because right before he went back to school I cheated on him, but I told him the truth. We worked through it and he forgave me but then he wanted to have sex. I don't know if he is trying to play me or what? Secondly, I really care about him but I miss him way too much when he is gone so I don't know if the actual long distance relationship is going to work in my favor here..My parents dont know we are together because I previously got two tickets by his house and without meeting him my parents don't like him. My parents are more obessed with my ex bf anyways. What exaclty should I do? Stay with him and constantly feel like I miss him and not know if he feels as strongly as I do? Is he playing me?Break up with him? Go with the flow and try and stick it out?THanks!!! Jill
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male
reader, Register now  +, writes (8 December 2013):
I have been in a long distance relationship for nearly 3 years with my boyfriend, amongst arguments with my parents about firstly moving away, money money matters, friendships between friends, stress and temperatures rising between the two of us I can admit it is hard and not only puts a strain on everything, but deep deep down I know that I do love him x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2012): well me and my boyfriend haven't broke up but he lives in a different state and we can't keep in contact but to right that's how we profess our love but i really miss him and only get to see him once a month because of his work schedule we still love each other still stay in contact in stuff so i would just say keep in contact & you'll be totally and completley fine
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female
reader, trishahelps  +, writes (9 January 2011):
I am currently in a long distant relatiopship myself as I'm in university in liverpool and my boyfriend lives in london, we do miss eachother a lot but its always so special when we are together and its brought us closer than ever.. Give it a try you never know what you could be missing out on
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): You question if he's playing you when you just cheated on him? That's some serious betrayal and will take more than a little healing to restore trust and respect. I don't believe you have "worked through it". And to me the fact he wants to have sex with you straight away it's like he's thinking "Oh well may as well just have a good time with this girl." He's lost respect for you. And rightly so. You need to EARN it back. You were the player in this situation. You need to show some serious remorse and faith and commitment, over many months and be grateful if he trusts you at all again. But then you're so young and you don't seem to be in the right mental space for a serious relationship. You should be concentrating on school.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): You're crazy. How about you move out and try to grow up a little. You think that you have a relationship that's even worth considering keeping around but yet you cheated on him a month in? I'm not sure why you have any respect for the "relationship" that still exists.
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female
reader, MarieM32 +, writes (16 October 2008):
i think you should ask him how he feels and if he cant be bothered to tell you then hes not worth it.
i mean some lads dont have the confidence to say how they really feel.
there is nothing wrong with wanting sex he wants to feel wanted because you have cheated on him.
i mean girls wouldnt want to have sex but lads have to feel like they can make u feel good girls dont care about fings like that as much as a lad does!
if u really feel it wont work and you wont be happy then you need to move on but if you love him enough too have a long distance relationship then i think you should see how it goes then it will also test how much you love him.....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2008): I live in Leeds, England ad have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 months. I've just started University in Glasgow, Scotland though which is about 4 and a bit hours drive away. We were originally going to split up whn I went to Uni, we agreed that from the start, but when it actually came to saying goodbye, neither of us could do it. I think if it was easy saying bye to your boyfriend, then it might not be the msot ideal relationship. I know I found it extremely difficult so I had to stay with him because I love him so much. Now I'm a poor student (grrr..) I can't afford to travel down to Leeds very often to see him, but we're compromising by taking it in turns to visit each other and we're speaking on the phone a lot too. I think trust is the most important thing in a long-distance relationship. If you can trust him 100% then try stay with him, as long as you know he trusts you too and you both like each other loads.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Hey...well I went off to college to Minnesota and I am from Canada. I met my boyfriend there and he is from Ohio. ya far away!! I have moved back home and he has moved back hom and am now working so we are 26 hours away. I have not seen him for 2 months and I will be seeing him in 3 weeks. And then I will be seeing him for his birthday in November 6 weeks after that and when I have holidays I will be flying down there for a week. Long Distance is so hard dont get me wrong and then after November I really have no idea when I will be seeing him again. We talk a couple times a day and I cant stand it when I cant get ahold of him. But how much we love eachother, We will make this work, and put in the effort that needs to be made!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): I'm seventeen, and my boyfriend have been in a long-distance relationship for nearly six months. He visited me just recently over Christmas Break, and that was the first time we had been together for over five months. He left a few days ago, and I miss him dearly. I do whatever I can to keep myself occupied during this time. I work. I go to school. I read. I go shopping. I hang out with friends. If you don't already have one, I'd get a job if you have time. That'll keep you occupied, and plus, you'll get some major bucks! :)
About sex and whether or not you want to stay together, don't have sex until you're ready. He can't make you do anything- remember that! :) If he fully respects you, he'll also respect your decision to do it now or do it later. And if he does, he's worth keeping around, and I wouldn't let him go for the world. I'd stick with the boy and go with the flow. At first I thought about breaking up with my boyfriend because I didn't think the long distance would work, but sure enough, we're still together today, and we love each other more than we can describe.
You never know where a relationship will take you, but it's worth finding out. :)
I hope that helped.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): I am in a long-distance relationship. I was with my boyfriend for a year before I moved away for university (which was a mistake). I have now lived away for 2 years. He used to come and see me every weekend that he could afford it and we talked to each other at least once a day. About a month ago we had a 2-week break becuase we had forgotten what we once had. During those weeks I slept with someone else, that coupled with the time not even talking to each other made both of us realise that no matter how far apart we live from each other, we are still the same people and we still love each other no matter what.
It's ridiculous for people to say that long-distance relationships cant work, it depends on the 2 of you making sure you appreciate the other and that you show them how much you love them.
As for the cheating, he's forgiven you, until he says otherwise trust that he means it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): I have been dating a man for six years and a large part of it post-college has been long distance. I love him and have been faithful to him the entire time, and because of the person that he is trust that he has done the same. We see each other roughly every six months as we live over 600 miles away from each other. But we have made a commitment for one of us to move closer this year. If you love him, and you have a solid foundation, it can work. But every situation is individual.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): Well i was in a long distance relationship and it was really hard. Not to say I didn't want things to work out, I did. But it was so hard with everyone saying it wouldn't. I ended it because I felt selfish expecting a normal relationship under not so normal circumstances. But my cousin and his girlfriend lived eight hours apart for four almost five years and they made it work. So it can be done it just takes the right people and a lot of trust. As for you cheating on him if you can't stay faithful to him when he is close to you how do you expect it to work when your apart? So now there really is no trust there and that's what long distance relationships are based on. But do it if you feel you can just don't lie to yourself or him. GOOD LUCK!
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female
reader, uganut86  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 I have been in a long distance relationship for about 6 months. We were in college together and saw each other every day. Now we might see each other once a month. I don't know what to tell you because I am in the same situation as you. I know that we fight over the fact that I always have to call him. We have made the effort to see each other when we can. I miss him more than ever when I can't get a hold of him when we are scheduled to talk. You might try downloading IM so that you two can talk about your day and your fellings or send him reminders of why you love him. I hope this helps.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): I'm in a long distance relationship, we both met whilst we were working abroad and saw each other pretty much everyday for 3 months straight, now back home we are 200 miles apart but because of that time together we became really close and I know I can trust him, and he knows he can trust me. I see him pretty much every week and we talk on the phone everyday. And I can honestly say I wouldn't wanna be with anyone else, he's the perfect boyfriend. So I think if you both put a little bit of effort in then it can work out quite well. Well fingers crossed eh?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2007): my boyfriend moved 8 hours away from me, we have been dating for 5 years.i miss him n love him but i know i will see him pretty soon. 1 more month then i am gone with him...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2007): I feel your pain...my boyfriend and I had been dating for just over a year and he went off to college! its been about 2 months now and i cant stand being away from him (he's 11 hours away) and to make things worse my ex wants to get back with me! Everyday I ask myself if I can handle this for the next 4 years and everytime the answer is YES!I'm not gonna tell you to stay with your boyfriend or break up with him but I will tell you that if you really love him then it will be very much worth it :)Thats what I tell myself everyday and now i hope it will help you too good luck from someone who knows what your going though!!:)
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female
reader, velvetcaroline +, writes (29 September 2007):
 Hi there. This is a question with a few levels in it.
firstly, if you cheated on him and he forgave you he MIGHT think you owe him something for forgiving you. Obviously I dont know him personally so I wouldnt know but it's worth thinking about.
I've been in a long distance relationship for just over a year. He lives about 300 miles away and its very hard sometimes. However, even though we visit each other as often as we can we call each other almost everyday, even if nothing momumental has happened. You have to know the tiny things that are going on or you wont feel involved in each others lives.
I love my boyfriend, but our relationship is getting harder to maintain because we're growing as people. I'm not sure howmuch longer it will last, but I know it would be harder to break up with him because he lives so far away than it would be with a guy who lives here.
If youre sure about him and you want to do this; then you HAVE to tell your parents. Trust me on this. Just do it. Its a really hard thing to do. If you really want him then you have to fight. So many people will think its not a "real" reltionship or whatever, and sometimes you might be a bit embarassed, but just keep going and remember why youre together.
-Caroline
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female
reader, Cena  +, writes (23 September 2007):
I think you must leave him coz long distance relationships do not normally work
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): hey girl dont feel bad cuz im with someone i really love i been with him for a year and i was thing he was plaing me so i asked him does he love me and so on then i asked him would he play me and he said no bcuz he loved me and i was right for him but girl you sould do the same cuz it worked for me so try it. good luck!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2007): When faced with the "long-distance relationship" issue, it's so,so hard. I'm currently dealing with it, my boyfriend is contemplating going to work in london and he wants to continue our relationship despite the distance - i'm talking continental distance. My thoughts are that long-distance relationships rarely work out and feel as though our relationship thus has an expiry date, be it when he leaves or sometime thereafter due to the long distance not working, it's so sad. His argument is that you never know until you try. I just feel that I KNOW it won't work out and instead of remembering the amazing love that we once had, all we'll ever think of eachother is how sad it was when he left, we grew apart and how we broke up cos ultimately that seems to be the way it goes for most couples, isn't it? his argument again is that we aren't like most couples. Either way, if you break up instead of trying, or try and break up in the end, the result is the same. love is tricky.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2007): hey i was with a boy for a year and a half and i saw him once a week for pretty much the whole weekend, and at the time i thought it was the best thing in the world, but looking back on it now i have realised that it was such a drain and took up so much of my life and now i have become a really dependant person without a real fulfilling life of my own. You may love this guy but maybe you should have some time away from him because you need to live your life for you and not to please anyone else and if you are always doubting about things and are not 100% sure then maybe it is time to move on.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2007): I'm currently in a long term, long distance relationship. It is hard but then it takes hard work to keep it going. There isn't anything stopping you from going to visit him or vice versa? If you want it to work then it will.
Sometimes cheating can happen. In a very drunken and stupid night I slept with someone else, I told my bf the next week and we got through it. That was a year ago. We still only see each other once a month or less but I wouldn't change it for the world because I love him.
Just be strong and it should be ok. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2006): well. I would advise you to follow what your heart strongly tells you to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2005): I agree with the anonymous response in March. It's only been a month and if cheated on him before he left, imagine how hard it would be now that he is away.
As for him playing you, well, you gotta take it slow and just be together. If he gets angry for going slow, then, he's probably playing you...no doubt. Because if he loved you or even if he was a gentleman he would wait for as long as it took you to be comfortable.
Well, good luck with this one.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2005): I think you should break up with him. You are both leading seperate lives and in the end if you're meant to be, you will be.
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