A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i often have men yell smutty things at me... it's unfortunate, disrespectful, but what can i really do? i just keep walking and ignore them. sometimes, even when im with my boyfriend, men yell things at me. my boyfriend obviously gets very upset, but i ask him not to respond or yell things back and he doesnt. a quick background on us--- my bf and i have a wonderful relationship, he is such a gentleman, we live together and are very much in love. he's very sweet!however last night when we were walking home, a dirty old man started yelling things at me. we kept walking, he kept yelling.... then, my boyfriend slapped and squeezed my ass. the man cheered...then my boyfriend stuck his tongue down my throat! i pushed him away and said stop, and he tried to kiss me again, this time i hit him hard in his arm and screamed at him that im not like that (i was shocked)we have both been quiet since... i feel really strange, and bad about it and myself. what he did was no better than the men who yell sexual things at me. i am not an object! i know he feels guilty and isn't sure why he did that...how can we get past the awkwardness? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009): Interesting thought uniquescreenname. I can see how that would be possible. My wife is usually always smiling and looks confident and friendly. One would think that her personality and sometimes wearing tight tops and shorts would make her more prone, but then I am not the type of person who would do things like that to a woman. I guess that type of person just thinks differently than most of us are used to thinking and acting. It's too bad that people who are feeling bad are the ones who get picked on and the ones who are less able to deal with it at the time because of their lack of confidence or feeling bad or whatever.
After I posted my answer my answer my wife reminded me that while we were in NYC last summer that she never saw that type of behavior. I was surprised how nice the people in Manhattan were. One construction worker did something and said, "F**k". He then saw my wife and said, "Sorry". It nearly floored her.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2009): Perhaps it is dependent on where you live. I have lived in 2 different small cities the past 35 years. I do remember someone telling me that she got a lot of propositions when she was on vacation in Florida. Neither my wife nor I can remember that ever happening to her or to anyone that we have seen. We see some younger women dressing a bit provocatively and never see anything more that some guy look at them. A turned head is the most that we see. My wife was wearing a tight top and shorts on our walk today and a couple of guys watched her go by, but nothing else. We walk on a multipurpose trail and there are sometimes women dressed in tight shorts and low cut tops and they don't ever get obnoxious looks and never more than a Good Morning and a look. When I do that they say Good Morning and just smile.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): i absolutely do not dress revealing in any way..... ive been told i have a very pretty face and body....which i try to hide under layers and jackets. i am a young 23 year old and the city that i live in is full of low life welfare scum bags...that hang out in bars on week nights and just generally are disrespectful.
my boyfriend KNOWS i hate this behaviour..... i tell him not to say anything back because if he did i fear that they will start a fight.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): There must be some reason for this, as this is not normal behavior to happen as often as you infer. Sure sexy women get a lot of looks. My wife does and I see other women who do also, but I can't remember the last time that I have ever seen someone yell smutty comments at some woman. Or any comments for that matter. I have seen a few extremely well built women and I have never seen them get anything but looks.
Is there something unusual about the clothes you wear or something else that sets you apart from other women? I'm not trying to infer that you dress promiscuously, but there must be some reason that you get these inconsiderate comments.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife +, writes (29 June 2009):
 First impression is everything.
What, in your opinion, could make them say those things to you? Do you dress in a way that describe what those man yells at you? What's the solution?
By telling your BF not to say anything back to them, he might have thought that you liked to be treated that way.
It might be best to let him know what you let us know here, that you find this to be disrespectful.
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