A
female
age
30-35,
annon 32
writes:ive been married 14 yrs and im size 16 in clothing had 5 lovely kids and hubby wont come near me why? Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Friend Tom  + ♥, writes (22 April 2007):
 I am with ariel, here. Are you sure it is him pulling away? Have you lost the art of "feminine enticement", eh? How much have you done to keep his interest up? Is there a religious thing here that prevents birth control? Just asking. Five kids is a big family. More than most men would "hope for". (Don't misunderstand, there are five of us kids). But my mom was "very fertile", and we are Protestant (wink). I am sure my dad had his concerns as well,...he got a vasectomy after I was born, (it was just becoming legal in the US with a doctor's recommendation.) I perceive that it is only in the bedroom that he does not have the same "flair" he once did. You do not mention any other problems. OK, let's work on that. Have you always been the old fashioned wife who leaves all the "initiation" up to the man? Are you pretty much just lying there, waiting for him to make "the move" or not? Have you ever been "flirty" in bed? Do you even know how? Do you ever come to bed after a bath and have a really nice perfume tapped into all the right places and wearing something really ahhh...sheer? Then snuggled up close and whispered sweet "naughties" in his ear? And let a hand get really naughty while you are whispering? Am I shocking you? If I am, I think we may have found one of the solutions! (lol) Try it sometime. If you let him know you think he is still the gift of Aphrodite to you personally, you might be surprised what might happen. Also, have some closer communication! You've been married for fifteen years for goodness sake! You can't talk about something as basic as getting it on in the sack??!! Work on this and post again. I am interested in the outcome. Really. If nothing has worked, we will discuss other things, like seeing a doc about hormonal things and such. Best wishes. Tom
A
female
reader, ariel + ♥, writes (22 April 2007):
 There can be many reasons:
1.Birth control
2.Stress
3.Weight issue(a size 16 can be a large size on a short frame) or body conscious(strech marks)
4.Illness(impotence,diabetes)
5.Loss of enthusiasm
6.timing
What do you think it is that he won't come near you?I know from personal experience we always tend to take rejection personally,what you need to do is talk to eachother without getting upset if it is something personal like weight issues.I mean if it is to do with your weight 9/10 times the person who has the weight issue oris body conscious always brings it up,or pulls away because they are embarrassed.And what do you think pulling away means to your man.....Yip he thinks "she does not love me anymore",so he builds up walls and you build up walls and this circle of hell pulls you both in different directions.But this is only a guess to why? We need a bit more info to give you accurate advise.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): By saying he wont come near you im taking it as its in the bedroom he wont come near u?...u havent said what age the kids are but their ages might have somehing to do with it aswell...or are u making ur size a big issue at home?...u hav to stand ur ground mrs and let him know and see that after 5 kids ur more the woman than you'll ever be...if he has gone off u after all these devoted years u have given him...good riddens to him your still young so get out there and do ur thing...sha x
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