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anonymous
writes: i have been married for 5 months now and i still didn't have a complete sexual relationship because every time my huband tries to enter his penis inside my vagina i feel afraid and my muscles contract and the opening closes. i went to a female doctor that told me there is nothing wrong with me and that i should destory that idea about sex and pain and she thinks that i can do so easily but i can't. i tried with my husband a self help technique that i read about , it includes him entering his finger in the vagina to help me get used to something entering my body and we managed to do so but after some time with the finger we tried again the normal way and the same problem continued the openeing closes when he tries. can you help me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2005): i was a virgin when i got married and i had the same problem....in fact when i was younger it was so bad i couldn't even wear tampons! i went to the gyno and she prescribed these things called dialators (sp?)that you wear every day to slowly stretch you out, so that it's not so painful. also, she told me that your muscles naturally contract if they anticipate pain (regardless of how comfortable you are with your guy) she said if this happens, have him just hold it inside you (don't force it in at all!!) until your muscles slowly relax. it may be hard for your guy to maintain an erection, so you'll have to find ways to keep him aroused... even after doing this, i still find it very painful and plan on going back to the doctor, but at least now he can actually enter into me (and sometimes i actually enjoy it!) good luck - remember, the key is to have him hold still and stop moving forward until you relax again
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2005): I know this isn't much of an answer, but I have the same problem. Yeah, I know, its wierd. I also went to the doctor and she just gave me lubricant! I feel totally comfortable with my guy but its always just too tight, and so the only times we have done it he comes really quick, and is as painful to me as the first time. Although me and my husband (of 4 years) haven't solved the problem, we do loads of other stuff and both end up totally satisfied by things other than penetrative sex. So just be imaginative and have fun anyway, and if you come up with a solution let me know!
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