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Make or break...???

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 April 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 18 April 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, *upidDupid writes:

I wonder if you can help me. My friend says he loves me and I feel like i should trust him but we like to do totally different things yet when it comes to us just being together it just feels right. I dont know what to do about this feeling that i have but I feel something's missing. I feel like ive never been so close to what i actually want, but this feeling is just telling me its not right, I feel that no matter if i leave this early or not its going to affect me, usually i can just walk away from something but I'm staying with this one because i dont want it to ruin my life. I don't know what to do for the best.

I've told this guy to leave me alone and not bother me but he doesnt have enough respect to just walk away. he makes me feel bad like well if thats the decision you want to make then so be it and doesnt care if he's not friends with me afterwards, that really hurts my feelings.... its like a battle of my self respect because i have told him that i just want to be friends and he doesnt want to.

I dont want to lose self respect because of this guy. i feel like its the only decision i have. he made me feel good about decisions that ive made and things that i normally wouldnt tell people because i wouldnt want them to be like oh youre bragging he made me feel good about things that nobody else would and thats why i see him as such a good friend but thats like outta the question and thats what makes me stick around. its either gonna make me or break me and thats what i feel makes this a one of a kind relationship if i were to walk away it would make me feel like i just wasted what could have been a really good relationship.

I see my potential as being a friend if somebody doesnt wanna give me what i need to actually survive then there's no point, I'm not going to waste my time, it just sucks because i can actually see him doing really well for himself one day and i want to encourage him because things would be a lot better for him, but hes not taking my advice, and I know he wants advice, which is why i try to stick around and bang it in his head. He feeds off his mom and i want to try to help out. I just dont wanna be alone and he gives me somebody to talk to...

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (18 April 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIt is a mistaken notion to think that you can change somebody. Many young people have that idea and they are making a big mistake.

You need to accept him as what he is.

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