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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi guysI've been going out with my boyfriend now for about two and a half months and I'm pretty sure im in love with him. He treats me like an absolute prince and is so loving and caring to me, its unbelievable. However on xmas eve, while out with work I snogged this lad I work with in the pub and spent the whole night snogging him. The problem is I really like this other guy as he's gorgeous, an amazing kisser, funny and nice, but I know that I love my boyfriend and feel really guilty about what I done, but I can't seem to get this other guy off my mind!Anybody have any advice on what to do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): Hi, first off, love is not just a feeling, in fact real and lasting love is when you make a conscious decision to love to BE a loving and deserving partner to another, it is not based on what someone does for you to make you love them, it is based on your desire to put the needs of you other ahead of your own, to make sacrifices like forsaking all others for snogging!
Two months is not very long to be dating someone, you don't sound like you are in love to me, but in lust with both of these guys....and my guess is that you don't even know if you are in an exclusive relationship with your "boyfriend".
Dating around at your age is a great idea because you really don't know who you are or who you will be or what you want in a partner....sleeping around on the other hand does not lead to great relationships, and you will probably lose one or both of these men sooner than later.
The best thing is to be honest and tell both men that they are not the one, you are dating and keeping your options open and that you expect and understand that they are doing the same. You can't have your cake and eat it too, no matter how much power you think you have over men, they deserve to be free and be with whomever they want, and hiding behind the concept of boyfriend girlfriend does not give you the power to do what ever you want and hurt whomever you want just to do what you want...
A
female
reader, S0Belle +, writes (30 December 2006):
If you were with this other guy and are still thinking about him all the time then i would question if you really "loved" your current b/f. Love is a strong word and shouldn't be used too lightly. I think you probably are not in love with your current b/f, but like the idea of having one and this other guy came along and is better in your mind. You need to let the current one go so he can find someone that will be faithful to him and then you can do what you want.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2006): sounds like you really want to sleep with this other guy without hurting your bf, i dont know how old you are and how long youve been going with your bf but you should please yourself and do what you need to do and never regret what pleases you life is to short
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