A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my bf 3 weeks ago. My reasons for breaking up with him was because he was emotionaly abusive and seemed to have a narcissistic personality. At first I didnt want to break up with him because despite how badly he treated me, he could be a very nice and loving person (if he wanted to be, when it suited him type of thing). So it was hard to let go for the glimpes I saw of someone who I loved. However obviosuly that loving person I saw was just an act, and his true colours showed in the ending months of our relationship. Anyway I finaly came to terms with the break up and was 100% happy with my choice. I was so sure I did the right thing and I was starting to feel happy agian about life and loooking up, despite my ex bfs many attempts to get my attention by saying nasty things to me and to my friends and his other weird attempts to 'get back at me' such as saying mean things about me all over the internet, including bulletins on myspace. Anyway...the problem is his behaviour has changed now. From being nasty and cruel trying to get my attention after the break up, he has suddenly become nice. Its weird! He is now saying to my friends thigns such as "its such a shame things ended, she is a really really nice girl, I dont have anything bad at all to say about her. But it was her decision and I really respect that, Im not going to do anything to try and change her mind.SHe was a great girl, its a true pitty". Why is he saying things like that? When we were going out he had PLENTY of cruel things to say to my face about me, he was always critiziing me. And he had plenty of bad things to announce all over myspace on the internet about me too!So why has he suddenly changed to be all mr nice? It anoys me because a few of both of our frineds seem to be 'taking his side'. Hes being all nice and they are falling for his act. This hurts me because I feel guilty now for ending it. and in a way I think maybe he is a truly decent person and am now having 2nd thoguhts about geting back with him! help what do i do? does anyone know why is he acting like this? how can i get him to stop? how do i deal with some of my frineds taking his side, still being frieneds with him despite his abuse. just because it wasnt phsyicaly doesnt mean it wasn't bad! i wish they would understand that. and how do i deal with the feelings of wanting to get back with him because he seems to be being nice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): Hello,I have had in the same boat. I request you not to trust him anymore. He first showed what he actually felt about all this but by that reality, most of his friends might have gone against him so now just to get them back in his favour, he is doing all this. And when u will start showing ur emotions to him, he will be again the same as he used to be before. He is doing this to get his ego back. That's it. I have had the same experience.Its hurting but it is the reality .......
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2007): Come on girl, are you blind! he's playing nice now as he realise he isn't going to get you back by being an creep. Stay away from him, he's bad news and no he hasn't changed. My sister B/F was like that, he would be mean and selfish towards her but then he sometimes let out his nice side and cried and said he was sorry and all that crap then he went back to his horrible self! these people don't change, don't be the weak woman who went back to her abusive partner. BE STRONGER
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