A
female
age
30-35,
*inyflyer18
writes:I need some advice about my best guy friend. lets say his name is frank. I have known frank for about 10 years and we have been best friends we always go to each other about advice about everything. We went off to different colleges last year and stayed in touch. Skyping every other day. Untill I got a boyfriend in october of last year. That night Frank declared he loved me and had loved me for a very long time. I was confused and didnt really see frank in that way so I told him I was dating my boyfriend and we could remain friends. That really strained our relationship but we still remained really good friends. Untill I broke up with my boyfriend and leaned on Frank for support during my break up. I started to have feelings for frank and I didnt know if i was just having these feelings because i was really upset and he was there for me. So I told him I liked him and he tried to declare our relationship to the world but I wasnt ready for a new boyfriend. Frank got upset and didnt talk to me for a few months. Finally Frank couldnt take not talking to me so we became friends again not as close as we were before. Frank invited me to visit him at school and said i could sleep in his room. I wasnt really comfortable with the idea so I declined. He got really upset and didnt like that I wasnt really talking to him anymore. During this time I kept thinking about Frank and how I really felt about him and wondering if we were meant to be together i brought it up with him again but talked myself out of the relationship. Frank couldnt deal with me anymore so he started drinking ( he was doing this when he first got to college. I told him to stop and he didnt listen) We both are now not talking or are friends. I havent spoken to him in about 4 months and I have really missed him. the first few months I didnt even think about him but now I cant stop thinking about him I am driving myself up the wall wondering if i have made the biggest mistake of my life by telling frank that I dont want to be in a relationship with him. He is a great guy but I dont know if he will ever forgive me for tagging him along for this emotional rollercoaster. I really have feelings for him but now i think it might be too late. What should I do?
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male
reader, N91  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 It's obvious, you tell him!
You are obviously compatible because you're best friends! IMO when you're the guy in that kind of friendship, it's very hard not to have feelings for the female, for some reason I think it's easier for them to just remain friends and oblivious to the fact that the guy most likely has feelings for her.
You know this guy likes you, you have feelings yourself now....at least give it a chance, you never know, it could be the best decision you ever make.
Hope this helps.
A
female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (29 August 2011):
All you can do in this situation is allow him to come to you if he wants. You've messed with his heart by pulling him back and forth. Perhaps he's had enough of your indecisiveness, and is trying to move on. I would suggest that you send him a letter or a message online. Ask him how he is doing and that you've been thinking about him and hope he is doing well. Allow him to respond to you. If he does not, let it go. If he does, be careful not to get his hopes up again unless you're POSITIVE you want to make something happen this time.I wouldn't recommend that you contact him at all unless you have intentions of at least visiting him though. It wouldn't be fair to him.
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A
male
reader, PrinceCharming +, writes (29 August 2011):
Tell him that your sorry and you love him ,sounds like "Frank has alot emotions for you.Dont worry girl he will forgive , you will be going out in no time!
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