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I've destroyed my relationship - how can I learn to trust?!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 August 2008) 2 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2008)
A male United States age 51-59, *ark Heart writes:

I have been with my girl for just about 2 years now my problem is with trust.For some reason i do not trust anyone.I know in my heart i can trust her but for some reason i just don't. How do i fix myself i have all but destroyed my relationship with her now because of this but there my be a chance still i just need to fix this trust problem i have.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

hi i'm female similar age and I have trust issues too. The slightest thing happens and I blow it out of all proportion. To be quite honest it can be exhausting emotionally and I wish I was not like it but because of the past I am. Its easy to blame the past but I think the only way to solve it is to push your boundaries. I have done this recently and I have also distracted myself if my boyfriend is out, by also going out with my friends or family - so it kind of equalises things. I have a very understanding boyfriend but he has told me we have no long term future if I cannot solve my trust issues so I know what I'm up against. Its very much about your own self confidence and what has happened in the past. I have written things down this has helped a lot so I get things into perspective - kind of like my own journal of feelings. I have re-vamped my clothes (no reason why you can't too)and tried to spend a bit more time on myself and what I like (interests and hobbies) rather than my life being about my partner. This also helps to create balance and has helped me consider myself in my own right - not just an extension of my relationship which consumes me with worry and jealousy half the time. This will take time but the more you do for yourself (not selfish but self-worth stuff) the better things get. you will find you have more to bring/give to the relationship and less to drain from it. Hope some of this has helped.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2008):

You do need to sort this out because your relationship will crumble slowly an someone will get hurt I have been in a same sort of relationship an trust ruined everything but trust turns to jelousy an jelousy is like a disease hard to get rid of. If you love this person then you have got to learn to trust an if they love you then obviously you can trust them

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