A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like i lost my identity along the way , i'm not sure how or why but around 2 years ago i was -someone- i had my interests i had my bass lessons i had my books that i read i had my own style that just came so natural , people would notice me before they became my friends and would tell me that i'm one of those people who get noticed ,i just felt so comfy in my skin which was great since i have been a really goofy out of place teenager . then i met my current boyfriend around a year ago and at first it was just me but ofcourse as you go into a relation u can't help but become a little dependable on that someone and a bit by bit i guess i somehow changed i thought it was just growing up but today my bf was talking to me about this girl that is new at his work place and how people see her interesting and how uniquely she seems and she has that -thing0 about her and it was like a boom to me , i used to be this girl , i iused to have an identity , that is what i assume attracted him to me in the first place , i'm not saying that i had it all fiured out back then cause i didnt but now i'm so lost and feel like i'm becoming a nothing i dont do anything anymore i dont have interests i dont have the will to do anything i dont know what happened along the way or is it a normal part of any relation or it is not the relation at all , i hope this is not too confusing cause it is to me but what is happening to me?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 February 2010):
What's happening is that you've become to dependent on your boyfriend. You have given up all your hobbies and friends to be with this guy. That's not a healthy relationship. You need to get back out there with interests and friends again and make your boyfriend work just a bit harder for your attention. It's normal to become a little less interested in friends and hobbies but not to give them up. You're losing your identity because you're not out there with friends doing things. So it's time to get back out there again. Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): You are not speaking up for yourself and it appears you have put your bf on an altar and been too comfortable to let him construct your life for you.
Repeat, I am not a doormat. My feelings count just as much as his. Speak up and fight for your interests and wants.
BTW, you don't do e.e cummmings justice so you really need to conform as far as composing goes.
Hope I helped you.
Be demanding!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2010): The answer is quite simple really.
Yes you have become way too dependant on him, classic mistake.
I guess you really need to know why, you haved stopped living your life and settled into a nice comfy rut.
The solution is to just start living again, how often do you go out? Add one more outing to your weekly routine ok and try something new. I nkow you arnt motivated to, so force yourself. Trust me you wont regret it.
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