A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for almost 10 years now. I used to get sex every night if not every other night. Lately, I barely get it once a week and I am so horney. I have a very high sex drive. I keep telling my husband, but it doesn't seem to help. I even send him notes to play around telling him what I want and what I can do to him. I don't know if it's from stress or what, but I am having a lot of issues with self control. I get a lot of attention - but not from him. Although, I would rather him be the one providing this, he doesn't. I do not want to cheat, but I have the need to masterbate every night because I have needs. I have had self control, but it's getting harder and harder to avoid from anything happening outside my marriage. Any suggestions?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 March 2009):
Telling him that all these other men are after you will only increase his stress levels and that will not make him want to have sex more.
Find out why he is so stressed. If you can help him get over his problem then he might be a bit more active in the bedroom.
Also, try going on the pill as some of them can lower your sex drive. I know that's not ideal but it might help save your marriage until you get his stress problem sorted out.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Yeah I wouldn't talk to him about your temptation to cheat, but talk to him about wanting to have sex more often....he may need to be jump started by you....I would start with making love to his mind, by really connecting to him emotionally throughout the day, if he feels more love and caring from you and connectedness, I bet his sex drive will match yours....you may just have to be the one to start things rolling....men are not always up for it like we think they are....
I know it is tough not having your needs met, but try to be understanding of his as well, he hasn't cut back entirely so give him a break and keep your eyes on him.....just talk more to him about being sexual....and see where it goes. If all else fails seek some help from doctors or therapists.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (19 March 2009):
 My advice is to really have a heart to heart with him. Let him know how he's not satisfying this area, but not reducing his value as your husband.
One day a week set up for you and your husband. Call it a date night. One person plans, then next week, the other person does. On nights you're planning, go all out in the bedroom. Set it up around what you want. Lotions, edible body "whatever" and toys.
Each date night, it's only the other persons responsibility to show up. If you schedule one, you can have fantasy nights in the bedroom.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2009): Hey this is going to be straight out blunt. Just tell him just what u said to all theses strangers. Maybe he is just stressed like u said. Or maybe someone else(god forbid)either way u deserve the truth. I know u love him or this wouldn't be such a big deal. Hope my opion helped
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