A
female
age
41-50,
*inks32
writes:My fiancé just got a job after collecting unemployement for 6 months, he is working for 12/ hr and barley pulling 40 hrs a week. We have 5 kind between us and i feel like I am shouldering everything. He smoked over 2 packs a day and I cant afford to pay for his habits and the bills. I love him, but am really beginning to resent this. He moved into my house, and my bills have almost doubled. How can I go forward without the resentment? We have talked about it, and I still don’t feel warm and fuzzy. Feel stuck
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): 12$ an hour? That isnt bad at all much better then my old job of only 8$ an hour at any rate you need to sit him down and tell him he needs to pay for some things talk this out with him and yeah he needs to cut back on the cigs.good luck-michael
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Well I kinda agree with the other answer...do you mean $12 per hour? If so that doesn't seem like a bad wage at all to me though I am not really aware of the US labour market/cost of living so I could be totally wrong. If I remember rightly isn't that a smidge above the minimum??
In any case, you have supported him through his unemployment and all credit to you for that so now it's time for him to start contributing. Sit him down and say something along those lines and say you want to sort out your finances together and try and work something out jointly between you. Go through it all and jointly agree on how you want things done, try and avoid making it a confrontation; more a consultation but be firm and you should be ok. Good luck. :)
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A
female
reader, Trisha1975 +, writes (5 March 2008):
Been there...I cant tell you that you should put your foot down because it is hard when you love someone, I have 6 kids between me and my husband, and we went through a peroid where he did not work and I got to the point that I felt he was not trying hard enough and I started to have resintment as well. I just come flat out and tryed to explian it to him and it did hurt his feeling and he got angry, but then he got over it and went out and tryed harder and nailed a good job. So if your fiance loves you he sould come around and understand and if he dosent and he dosent seem like he cares, then I would rethink getting married. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Miracles123 +, writes (5 March 2008):
 Hello BABE!
Im not goin to know alot about this as im only 14
but the best thing you can do at the moment is put your foot down and actually tell him whats happening.
smoking 2 packs of fags a day is puttin him in a death bed,
you need to sort him out as you cant keep living like this
why are you payin double tel him he has to help pay for things aswell.
tel him his habbits are now over He wants to pull his wait around and help you do things.
just tel him babe .. whats the worse he can do ?
Miracles123
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