A
male
age
30-35,
*blitherate
writes:I need a little advice from those more experienced than I. Me and this girl have been dating for around two months or so. Recently she started wanting to pleasure me, so I agreed and let her giving me a hand job. It felt GREAT, I mean, there was no lack of pleasure. However there never seemed to be an increase leading to climax, it was just a constant pleasure. After a while, I stopped her, because nothing was happening. Later on, she tried again, and again to both our dismay nothing happened.We've tried a few more times but for the most part I've either had to stop her, or do it myself to get off.She's getting disappointed that she can't get me off. It's not that I don't want her to, but for some reason I can't seem to reach a climax.I've asked some of my friends who are more experienced then me, and they've all told me that it takes time, that lowering the frequency of masturbation, and just relaxing in general helps. I've tried all of these, and am going "dry" for a while in an attempt to make it easier. Is there any other causes, aids or anything in general you can provide as to possible reasons why I can't cum?I'd appreciate your help.
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male
reader, Oblitherate +, writes (21 September 2010):
Oblitherate is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright thanks a lot everyone. I'm gonna keep going without sex for a while, and see what happens in a week or so.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Try guiding her thru it by telling her how to stroke you. Thats always helped me. In addition, Im a POV kind of guy so I like a girl to sit in front of me prostrated between my legs while im sitting and shes rubbin my inner thighs and nipples gently lol. Speak up and tell her what turns you on and when she's into it and youve given her a little guidance, she'll hopefully make a happy ending for ya.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 I have the same thing in new relationships. Assuming there are no medical problems that you cant ejeculate then just give it time, try to relax more and enjoy it.
Its more likley down to anxiety and stress that causes it. Technique also plays a part, maybe she could try increasing or releasing grip. Try changing full strokes to just the tip etc…
It took my girlfriend about 5 times before she first got me to cum this way now she can do it every time.
Dont give up trying and dont get dissapointed and dont forget to reciprocate if she wants that :-)
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A
female
reader, cooListic kid  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 well i know I'm not a guy but ill share my opinion either way.
She obviously wants to please you so have you tried telling her to do it a different way give her a bit of direction, she would obviously do it different to what you do to yourself so clue her in a bit. She could also use her mouth a bit or with her free hand stroking your balls, a gentle pull, maybe you need to play around a bit instead of jumping right into it or if your about to come close then incomes the mouth get her to do something you know will push you over the edge make sure she uses her other hand to do something! Running her nails up and your chest kissing and biting, get her to sit behind you while doing it and get her to whisper in your ear what shed like to do to you later on or imagine shes doing what she's telling you. Just don't be afraid to speak up!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2010): Hey there,
My boyfriend is the same as you. I wouldnt think its anything wrong its just the way he is.
No matter how long i can give him hand/blowjobs that he says feel amazing he cant cum from it, he has to finish himself or through sex.
I wouldnt worry too much, but like you also said, going for a while without sex or antyhing usually makes it alot easier. Or maybe try experimenting with different techniques.
Good luck
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