A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well i had a boyfriend and we broke up. We started to date other people and after some time we started talking again and we stopped dating other people. we are not back together yet, we just go out to see if we should give it another shot. When we weren't together he slept with like 2 girls and i never did anything with anyone. I don't mind that he slept with someone else since we weren't together. But the thing is that knowing he slept with someone else makes me want him even more. am i totally weird?? why am i feeling this??
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (8 February 2011):
 There is an element of mild jealousy towards the girls. And you are absolute saint that you are so understanding of him. Yet you perhaps feel your want to prove to him that you can connect better with him, than the girls he went with.
But you have nothing to prove. Your attitude is forgiving of his choice to test-run other girls.
but it is not you who has to prove anything.
It is he who has to prove he can remain
faithful, cherish you, and love you while you are both together as a couple
And not be distracted by any little dalliance that presents in his path as a sexual opportunity for him to pursue
What he had with those girls was not a relationship. Instead it was sexual gymnastics. Opportunistic sex like that is not a relationship.
Whereas what you have with him is history and an ongoing relationship that has just experiened a little break
.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): People have different things that turn them on. If that's what you like, no one's going to stop you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2011): I believe the reason you feel like that is because you want him all to yourself. Jealousy, really. But not the kind of jealousy where you get angry with him for even thinking about having sex with anyone else, whether he was with you or not. It seems to me as though you just want him all to yourself and seeing that two other women "had a taste" of him, you want to be able to say that he is your property. Perfectly normal, but I could be missing your question completely. But this is how it came across to me. Hope that helps ease your mind a little bit.
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