A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:** I had ask this question already, but I only got one response. I would like several people to answer so I can get an idea** had been chatting with this guy for 4 years and I decided to go meet him. I went over to his state to meet with him, he was working so the time that we could spend was limited and I was only able to stay there for the weekend because I had to come back home. We consider ourselves friends, the thing is that I kind of like him. I am attracted to him and I don't know if he is to me. He would stare into my eyes and I felt as if he was attracted to me, but maybe that is what I want to think. It wasn't a really long stare but was enough for me to want to kiss him. His stare didn't feel threatening or mean, but the other way around. He invited me for dinner at some 'fancy' restaurant and he paid for it, I offered to pay half since we are friends but he said it was ok because I had gotten him a gift for his b-day. He invited me to the movies and he paid for everything too (entrance and drinks- I didn't want popcorn), he also paid for all the shakes we drank through the days I staid there, he also paid for the dinner we had the next day... should I consider that just being friends or dates? I know he was trying to be a good host, but... I feel as if its too much. He drove me around to show me the scenery aswell since there isn't much to do around. I also met his mom and apparently she knew I was coming over to visit his son because she asked me if I was coming all the way from (state) but she did miss the city. I told her I was and she said that it was a shame that her son had to work during those days, but I told her it was kind of my fault. Anyways, I am confused and I don't know if he only likes me as a friend or what. I don't want to ask him because I don't want to be all over him. Any comments Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell... I wasn't attracted to him before I met him in person and he wasn't attracted to me before that. Even though my ex thought this guy had some type of feelings for me. I went to visit/meet him because we planned a trip(overseas) together and I wanted to meet him before that long trip. He is always calling and texting me... but yeah, it doesn't matter if he likes me or not. I suppose I had a little crush on him after I met him, but I am doing alright now and back to normal. He is my bestest friend in the whole world. :D
A
female
reader, whyorwhynot +, writes (21 January 2009):
I would say he is not really into you, or he would say so! I would say he likes it the way it is and If he wanted more he would certainly say so, as well mothers will try to send a clear message as well if they know the son really likes the women a lot and she seemed to talk to you as JUST a friend of his she seemed to speak to you just as she would a male friend of his. Being a mother of two 20 something sons this would be my opinion, ( your just a friend ).
Also there is nothing wrong with Asking him or telling him exactly what you ask the general public or simply let him read your post and get his reply, If he is a friend he will giggle and let you know he is faltered but just wants to be friends. If he is interested in you he will say so weather it is just dating interest or sexual I am sure he will say so.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter  +, writes (21 January 2009):
 Hey, well personally I would tell him that I liked him myself after all it has been 4 years. On the other hand it seems like you are doing the most effort - bday present and coming over to see him. If he was interested he would do that himself, trust me, when a guy likes you he wants to do something nice for you and they do go out of their way for the chase. It seems like he is a nice guy, well mannered BUT he either doesnt like you enough to pursue you properly or he is SO lazy that he cant be bothered to pursue you. Since you are the active one is chasing there is no reason for him to get into 5th gear and try to win your heart over if you know what I mean.
If you are really keen on this guy I would advice to tell him that you like him and see where this goes. If he says - umm, I am not sure whether I like you or not, or if he says he likes you but doesnt try to court you - go to see you, initiate the phone calls, send you flowers for example then I would suggest to move on and find someone who will actually want you.
All the best x
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