A
female
age
30-35,
*ts9290
writes:OK so I just need some feedback or advice.I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over three years, and he is the only person who genuinely makes me happy and knows exactly what to say and do to make me smile.I started college at an all-women's college and the Fall and kind of had a culture shock. Back home, I knew only 1 lesbian. Here, it is so widely accepted and kind of the norm. So I accept homosexuality now, as long as it is out of love and not lust.I have OCD and anxiety and have been having obsessions about homosexuality now. I feel so disgusted because, now that I accept homosexuality, I feel like therefore I must be homosexual. And, because I have seen and been turned on by lesbian porn, then I must be a lesbian. (I don't watch and refuse to watch lesbian porn anymore.)Logically, I know that I'm not a lesbian-never have been, never will be, and never want to be (no offense). But how do I reassure myself that I am not a lesbian and that I am just over-whelmed with the gay community here and my anxiety? HELP-PLEASE AND THANK YOU
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female
reader, mts9290 +, writes (16 April 2009):
mts9290 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwhat do you mean I have talked myself straight??
I believe that the same applies to straight relationships too. My personal values and belliefs believe that you should not be in a gay or straight relationship out of lust.
I have considered transferring to another college, but I love this college for the most part. It is small, a dry campus, so safe, great professors, small classes, and I have an awesome scholarship.
BUT, part of me wants to transfer and focus on myself for a year...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): sounds like you've talked yourself straight , so why lok for more help??
I notice you are ok with gay relationships if they are out of love not lust.. just wondered if the same applies to straight relationships?
Have you considered exchanging colleges for the 2nd year of your cousre? Might be the answer you need.
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A
female
reader, mts9290 +, writes (15 April 2009):
mts9290 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice. Honestly, I put alot of thought into whether I'm gay or bi and I truly can't see myself in a serious, emotional relationship with a girl. Yes, college life is about having fun and whatever, but this is causing unnecessary stress. I feel like if I was at any other college, not an all girls one, I wouldn't be dealing with this-in all honesty. I feel like the only reason I am experiencing this un-needed stress is because of the hugely accepted gay community, which is no where close to being similar to where I come from. And more advice after hearing that....?
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A
female
reader, mervy  +, writes (15 April 2009):
 Don't stress!
I spent 13 years at an all girls school - it's completely normal to find other girls attractive without it leading anywhere. This previous answer definitely nails it right on the head. Don't force yourself away from these feelings, they're natural. Just keep an eye on them to make sure they dont' turn into anything else.
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A
male
reader, Aqua2009 +, writes (15 April 2009):
I think that being turned on by another woman is normal, porn especially. Also, have you considered being bi? I know a ton of younger girls that fool around with girls in collage. Experience is a must in life, bad and good. We all grow from experiences. Also, being a lesbian and having fun, in my opinoin are 2 seperate things. Live life, don't be a judge and make smart moves......you will be fine!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): You may actually find it hard for girls (maybe younger ones i'm not sure) to not be intrigued by the sexuality of other women. Females are generally more attractive than males. This dates back very far and comes from the animal kingdom i believe.. The males chose females who were better-looking because that meant that they were healthy and could reproduce, and the females chose the more dominante, successful, strong males because it meant that they could provide for them. This is the way it is. I think there is just something about women that causes a much more aroused reaction. This is why women aften have men who look at other women, but i hear far less about men having women whoh can't keep their eyes off other men. I know that i don't even notice men because i am too busy looking at other women and comparing myself to them and let's jsut face it.. making myelf feel bad. Don't feel like you are a lesbian. I know very, very few people who don't find girls arrtactive to look at or who don't find themselves looking at a low cut shirt, or more, what's inside the low cut shirt. I believe you are exxperiencing a natural human thing. If you start to develop more-than-friends feelings for one of them though, then you may have an issue.
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