A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm curious:males: Have you ever liked a girl, and to you, it seemed like you had alll the qualities the girl wants in a guy (humor, personality, friendliness, etc). But you always wondered, why won't that girl go out with you? orWhat do the other guys have that I don't? From a males perspective: Does that bother/annoy you when girl you like knows you've got all the right qualities, but in the end, they would never go out with you?I'm in a situation like that. This guy is really sweet and we're both 17. Yesterday, it was freezing and I forgot to bring a jacket. He brings his jacket everyday of his life and wears it regularly to school. He knew it was freezing outside and did not wear his jacket the whole day (I know he was implying that I should ask him to wear it). EVERYONE wanted me to take his jacket because I was freezing, but i refused (i have this thing where I won't wear a guys jacket unless I am going out with him, falls under that typical high school stereotype,I know, but its just awkward to me). Friends told me I was stubborn and rude for not accepting his offer. But i just DON'T wear other peoples sweaters/jackets. Does that make me a hypocrite? I see it 2 ways: I could have taken it , but i think because I knew he liked me, i refused to wear it so no one would take that gesture as if we both had feelings for each other.2: This is about the 3rd time he's done this act, and I know where he's going with this. Am I being really rude by not taking his jacket? (Lets say I DO get a bf, and start wearing HIS jacket, different standard?) Maybe I'm taking other people's opinion to seriously. See! He's got a great personality and would really put me first, BUT there is just SOMETHING that does NOT make me attracted to me. We've known each other for about 4 years, and if I did feel anything before, I would definitly go out with him. As mean as this may sound, my preferences are whites and asians(and i'm asian) , and he's hispanic. I feel that thats probably the barrier thats preventing me from going out with him. I just DON'T see it. (and its also probably because I want both the PHYSICAL and mental qualities in one). Ladies: have you been in this kind of situation before?so many questions..i'm just so flustered.Thanks! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (9 December 2007):
 You are either attracted to a person or you are not. The heart wants what the heart wants. I wouldn't second guess yourself on this one.
I think a lot of people would say, "Go ahead and take the jacket", but I believe that you have done the right thing here. You know that he is not offering it as an "empty gesture", that he has feelings for you and that symbolically, by accepting his jacket, you will be accepting him as a possible suitor. So yes, if you don't want ot date him, don't wear his jacket. But you already knew that - Smart Girl!
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