A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright, so this girl and I have been.."talking" for the past 4 months. we're actually pretty serious about it all though. We met and things were great. We were great friends. Then things started getting a little more serious and we liked each other. Long story short, we were basically in love then in January we started fighting and that made it all go away and she said she wants to be just friends. in the end that faded away and the feelings came back, just not as strong. Something like that happened again later but we were over it within a week. The problem: 1 we NEVER hang out. in that four months we've only hung out 3 times. It sucks. I think that everyday I ask her to hangout and some days she'll say idk and others she'll say she'll ask her mom but never does. Most of the time she's with someone else though and won't ditch them.. I just don't know how to get her to hang out with me ya know? she wants to be it just doesn't seem like she puts the effort in..2 recently we've been fading apart. she says she doesn't feel the same as she did way back. I said it seems like we're just more serious now. but she's right. we do seem to be fading apart. I wanna fix that but I don't know how. last night I told her we should take a little break and hopefully it'll help us. today sucked without her. and she didnt seem to be too effected by this.. I dont really want to do this but I feel like I have to. things have been so blah between us and I want it to be better. is there anything else I can do or do you all just think I'm crazy and wasting my time? I really do love her and she means the world to me. I dont wanna be without her but I absolutely hate not being able to be together. just need some ideas. thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): thanks. she does love me. it's just..i don't know. we have a weird relationship. it's not an actual relationship but we aren't just friends. it's so complicated haha
A
male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (18 March 2011):
I get what you mean and a lot of guys have been in that situation I'm sure. All I can tell you is stop talking to her and see if she comes around. If she doesn't then move on and find another. I get how you feel but I'm sure she doesn't feel the same way you do else she would have made even a small effort by now. I guess you talk to her on the phone a lot and she sees you as a friend. I know you want more but she doesn't. The thing is, fading apart happens all the time with friends...it takes 2 to tango and as we get older it becomes a lot harder to maintain those friendships. She doesn't want to give the effort. This is prolly because she knows very well what you want out of the friendship which is something she doesn't want. Reality is that you can't force someone to love you. Maybe she will come around if you stop talking to her and she realizes what is gone from her life.
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A
female
reader, dietcoke.1  +, writes (18 March 2011):
Dont throw it away ! you arnt wasting your time at all. Talk to her express how you are feeling and see if she has any of the same feelings for you . If not express how much you miss her company and even if it isnt more than friends you are willing to be friends. Your relationship doesnt sound like you should be giving up
good luck x
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