A
male
age
36-40,
*ll star
writes:hi my wifes best mate always flirts with me. This happens when ever we go out and im drinking. Is she being over friendly or does she fancy me? When she is flirting shes touching me and always jumping on me ect. Im not finding fault as i do have to admit that i have fantasied about her before, is just that it can be annoying
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2010): Marriage, flirting with other women or being receptive to being flirted with by other women, and alcohol or other drugs are a definite disaster brew.
Beginning to fantasize about someone who you see on a regular basis with this type of behavior is also a warning sign.
Really walk a careful line here.
Also, take this test as well, see what is says about you. Don't poo-poo the results either.
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
This is quite accurate in most cases.
A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (13 October 2010):
 i smell a rat here.
maybe your wife has asked her to do these things to see how you react.
you are in a marriage so it can go no further, and if you respect your wife, it has got to stop.
by all means have fun together, but never any sexual feelings.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (13 October 2010):
Hi there. I guess she might like you, the flirtiness really depends on whether she does that to other men as well, when you are in a group. She might just flirt when she's had a few drinks.
If you have a good marriage with your wife, don't tempt fate. If you were to give this woman any encouragement, you might get into very deep water and do something you later regret.
You really have to think very carefully about this, even though you say you have had fantasies about her, still don't go ahead and do anything. And even if you did let yourself lose control, you would probably find that the reality didn't live up to the fantasy anyway. It might be a big disappointment. Then if your wife found out, she might end your marriage - there is a real risk of that happening.
Married or not, you need to work out what's important to you in life, and go from there.
Sometimes people entertain ideas of being unfaithful, when they are a bit bored or they have no balance in their lives. Quite often they are just looking to find a way to have more fun on a regular basis. It's never about the sex.
So therefore, the key is - FUN. There are many different ways to put more fun into your life. Start some interesting hobbies, you and your wife could go to fun places and put some variety into your lives. Also, it's helpful to have some separate time to either visit your own friends (no, not visit this woman), I mean your mates, and your wife visit her friends, or pursue your hobbies. One day a week for a couple of hours is perfect. You are then giving each other some space. It will breathe some fresh air into your relationship. It will help.
I sincerely hope this helps you. Take care and best wishes.
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