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female
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anonymous
writes: My spouse of 16 years is staring at women other than meYet he says he loves me shows it and stands by me except the wandering eye problem which he has had for three or four years. I asked him to stop as it is lack of respect he said he will i am hoping that someone might know if he is through with me in this relationship. He keep stressing on the I love you and gives me flowers yet keeps showing me disrespect I don't know what to do I love him but I think I am changed by this in a negative way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): Its and issue it disrespectfully and it hurts you. thats and issue, anything that your husband does that hurts you and may you feel less than other women is and issue, dont take yourself for granted.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2011): its and issue it disrespectfully and it hurts you. thats and issue, anything that your husband does that hurts you and may you feel less than other women is and issue, dont take yourself for granted.
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female
reader, sick of this mess  +, writes (31 January 2011):
You have got to feel better about who you are. Some men are just cheaters and thats a fact, my husband cheated on me and he is a loser.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2006): Personally I think when the mans eyes start wandering, cut him loose. Who needs some guy that feels the need to look at other women? Have some self respect and ditch the loser
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2006): Men enjoy visual imagry when it's put right in front of them. That's a given. But when they are with their wives- most of them have enough respect to either refrain or are very subtle about how they look at other women. But you know what bothers me most about your posting is that he really is very insensitive about the way his behavior is affecting you. If he knows it hurts you and we all know he can control where his eyes go, so why does he still do it? (especially when you and he are together) When a man will purposely do something to hurt their loved one like this, this is very telling about who he is. This is just a guess, but he's sounds troubled, somewhat insecure and he could be doing this behaviour to keep you 'off balance' This may be an idicator of something bigger going on in your marriage. Perhaps you need to address that and think about this. My recommendation is is that you sit him down and very calmy, yet firmly tell him know you understand that sometimes, men look at other women but that he is also able to make choices and decisions about how he behaves, when he is with you. Set a tough boundry by stating, you will not tolerate this behaviour. Once that is said, sit back and wait. See if he stops or modifys this behaviour when he's with you. If he can't, then you should be prepared to remove yourself and leave the situation, when he acts up in front of you. He has as to realize, you are the woman he's with and his eyes had better be on you-or he'll be spending that time alone, because you aren't going to stand for it. I have always said, "We teach people how to treat us". If someone crosses a boundry, that displays disrespect- we have to speak up and let them know...be strong and I wish you the best. Good Luck
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (21 July 2006):
 Alot of guys glance at other woman, i personally dont see the big deal about it, When i catch my guy doing i tell him to put his eyes back in lol! But its not that often that he does, but i can see why some men look, i sometimes in traffic or walking along the street see a girl and i actually think to myself oh yeah shes pretty! But with men its just a harmless quick look, half the time it doesnt mean anything, hes with you, loves you, has been with you all these years, and the worst thing hun that he does wrong is from time to time checkout another woman in the street, it doesnt mean hes going off you, he just cant go around blindfolded all day! I would relax a bit, the more you mention it the more it becomes an issue, dont be so insecure about it, it doesnt actually mean anything my guy once said to me, when i questioned him once for checking out another girl,(he doenst normally do it but sometimes they just cant help themselves) i was like oh better than me is she, his answer was " Nah, why have the mini coopper when i already got the ferrari " lol.. Its just half the time a curious thing, they know which side there bread is buttered on, he knows he is with you and has been all this time, he loves you and i dont think you have anytyhing to worry about.. but do be careful the more you nag him about this the more it will push him away, he will get tired of the same thing over and over and it will wear him down. Relax a little and stop making this an issue i dont think its as big a one as you think!
Take carex
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