A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Just wondering if this would piss anyone else off?Two weeks ago, having moved into a new flat, I invited a good friend over for lunch to see it. An hour before she was due to arrive, she texted to say she was going to the gym with X and so would be bringing X with her (who I know, but nowhere near as well as my friend).Last week, my friend - knowing I've been having a bad time lately - asked if I would like to come round for dinner tonight so we could have a proper catch-up and talk about what's been going on (a break-up that has upset me). I am due there in half an hour. Two hours ago, she texts me to say that Y wanted to come for dinner too and that she has also had a text from Z to see if she was free and wanted to do something, so did I mind if she invited Z? I didn't really feel I could say no, especially when she had already agreed to Y coming round already - it had already become more than just a quiet dinner.I think this is a bit rude, especially when she said she wanted to talk to me and see how I was doing. I'm hardly going to open up in front of Y and Z! If I was invited to lunch, I would never bring someone else with me, and if I was having dinner I would either make it a group from the start or stick to the original just two people. Would it be rude of me, in return, to say I was rather put out by her behaviour??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): Dude, she doesn't want to be alone with you (duh!) and so she's bringing a friend. For whatever reason that is, which shouldn't matter, that is likely what is going on. As far as it being rude or not, you could have said no, I wanted to talk with you about some private matters I wouldn't feel comfortable mentioning in front of X, Y, or Z. At which point she could have an opportunity to decide if she would want to come by herself or not or reschedule. In any case, your reaction is much like a woman's being all offended and you need to lighten up.
A
female
reader, LiveAnnLearn  +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I don't think you could qualify her behaviour as rude considering the fact that you never actually told her it bothers you before BUT by all means you have every right to ask her not to do it in the future, in a non judgmental and friendly manner of course;)
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