A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I guess I need some reassurance here as my boyfriend is constantly on a "friendship site" (almost everyday) and I'm concerned.He paid for this online site which doesn't look like a dating site, it claims that you can meet international friends and talk about travel there. I don't know how long he subscribed but one year's fee is like USD150. We've talked about it before and he said it's just somewhere he talked to people about travel as he loves traveling.The thing is, we met online and I know he used to meet other girls including his ex online. Now on his profile he is "involved" and he is "looking for male/female 18-49" so it seems that he's not "looking". But will a profile like that still attract girls?I know he has paid already so I shouldn't ask him not to use the service only because I'm uncomfortable. But I don't know how I should consider this to make myself feel better or how I can approach this issue again. Some advice please?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): ^I'm the OP. Thanks for your reply.
Honestly speaking, I find it hard to trust him as he did something that damaged his reputation in the relationship before. And now he's trying to behave like a really good partner, maybe he's truly doing so, maybe he's not. Last time I asked about this was maybe 3 months ago, he probably has no idea that this is still on my mind.
I personally find spending 150USD to just talk to strangers online something weird, I guess that's the other reason I find it hard to trust him. He paid for this during the period of time he just moved to his current city and felt lost, and now maybe he just keeps using it to make innocent friends? I don't know...sometimes I told myself "he said he's 'involved' there, other girls are not stupid! So just drop it!" but still...
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 December 2010):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/could-he-be-talking-to-girls-on-this.html
Guess I was the only one to answer you last time huh. Well, I still think it boils down to trust. Do you trust him?
If you want to talk about it, then that's what you should do. Sit him down and tell him how it makes you feel. Tell him you appreciate that he lists himself as involved, but you still have an uneasy feeling because the temptation may be higher to cheat if the opportunity presented itself. Be honest and open. Don't accuse him of cheating and he shouldn't get too defensive. Hopefully he can reassure you in a way that makes you feel good.
We can say stuff all day, but ultimately what matters is what he says about this and how you feel about that. So, I ask again, can you trust him not to cheat?
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