A
male
age
36-40,
*oul83
writes:I have a long list of questions under my profile about my current gf. We met last year - she was my tour guide. We had a great LDR and I came to China for her to teach English. Everything was great for the first couple of months then she started to change and became more and more angry.I'll admit that I haven't been perfect and made some silly mistakes - like once we didn't have any water so had to boil some and brought it to her and said it needs time to cool down -- she got so angry called me stupid and said to put it in the sink with cold water to cool it down. Yes I should've thought of that but anyone else would've been prepared to wait.Then I caught her on a dating website. She stopped after I got angry but after several more bad arguments she went back to it. I accepted that she was only talking online. She was still showing faithfulness to me even though I could see the signs of growing resentment towards me. She still tried to show me love, brought me souvenirs, tried to put some effort in when she had time off work. But it's slowly waned.Her mother lives with us now. She cooks the meals while we are out working. But I haven't been able to fully trust her. The final straw was seeing her on the dating website. I suspected that's what she was doing when I got home from work. I tried to push it aside but couldn't believe her when she said that she was planning a surprise. I found she had been messaging a young bloke on there. Talking about her location and asking if he was coming to our city soon.I tried to line up a time to talk but she phoned me to ask what I wanted to talk about - that she is tired of me saying I want to talk and then leaving her wondering all day until the evening. She straight out asked if it was related to the CLL ocnversations - she knows what she has done. I said yes and she said she didn't want to talk about it and hung up on me.As far as I am concerned she has broken up with me now. I've lined up a room and packed about half of my things. I didn't want to have to do that in front of her parents. They're nice people but unfortunately she isn't.Now in the past all of the conversations have been exactly that - just conversations because I've kept her under surveillence with a voice recorder. I stopped doing that and vowed to relax but this time it's cut too deep. Am I over-reacting? Her exact words were that she hopes to meet him and be his guide.I'm very disappointed - at one point we were planning a good future. We were both working hard to save money together and talking about the future. But seeing her on the dating website erased all of that. Should I stay quiet and keep watching to see where it leads?I want security and to know that she isn't meeting someone else - I can't guarantee that she is going to keep the conversations online. And I don't want to hang around until I am used and dumped.I've found a nice girl at work and I really want to get to know her a lot more now. Tomorrow we are off to the neighbouring city for a day out whilst I get my visa processed. My gf doesn't know or seem to care.Says a lot about her now. She just doesn't give a damn despite how much she has told me she does in the past. I'm too exhausted to keep up the dramas.
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female
reader, louisevandeburg +, writes (27 May 2010):
You've pretty much answered your question yourself - 'I'm too exhausted to keep up the dramas'.
While you and this girl got along great at first, clearly you couldn't trust her and she is not the right person for you. You should definitely move on - it is a big world out there and you will definitely meet girls who will treat you right! :)
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