A
female
age
36-40,
*earcupidhelp!
writes:My ex and i are trying to get to know each other again, to see if we can get into a relationship again. some history we dated for month and a half before we became official and in a relationship for 6 months, we both think we should have got to know each other better before getting in a relationship. things that led to demise of relationship his communication with his ex, and i went through his phone once and admitted to him, i feel horrible about that so we both don't trust eachother, how do we earn trust again as friends and work it out, i want to send him an email apologizing for things but not sure if that would help. i really care for him but wonder if this is a lost cause. he broke up first time then i broke it off but we havent' been together in 5 months. i try to stop talking to him then he will blow up my phone and say we need to be friends because "you never know we could get back together in 2 months" and that i shouldnt make hasty decisions to not to talk to him, its so confusing....should i really just give up or wait to see if we both work through our trust issues? if so how do we earn each others trust back?
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broke up, get back together, his ex, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, dearcupidhelp! +, writes (3 June 2011):
dearcupidhelp! is verified as being by the original poster of the questionno he was not honest about communicating with his ex ever he even put her in the phone with a guy name thanks for the advice i'm going to talk to him using some of what each of you said, thanks!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): It really sounds like he just wants to be friends, not get back together. Just because someone reacts when you ignore them doesn't mean they are interested in getting back together. You sound more like the girl he has on reserve, not a priority or a romantic prospect.
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A
female
reader, lysha  +, writes (29 May 2011):
 s you still like him and seeing as he said 'you never know we may get back together in 2 months' then it seems he also likes you still too,trust is the main part in a relationship and it needs resolving, you need to have a chat with him face to face, sort things out, tell him what makes you lack in trust and also get him to do the same with you, then you can both talk about it, apologize to him about going through his phone but just explain to him that you really liked him and didnt wanna loose him and you just got over worried about the whole thing with his ex:)just say to him that this 'working things out' has been going on for quite a while and soon enough it is just going to never get resolved and for the rest of the time you will just be 'working things out' it will never end,:)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2011): It seems that relational boundaries and good communication were never established in your relationship. The decision to remain in contact with ex's or not was not discussed and perhaps even the idea of having opposite gender friends. I think you need to really think about what you can or cannot accept before the two of you embark on a conversation about it. Also, reflect upon what is driving your insecurity in this area. Was your boyfriend honest and upfront about the contact? Does he "brag" making himself seem more desirable, thereby making you feel inadequate? Does his overly flirtatious nature make you feel unattractive or less desirable? Get in touch with your feelings and explain them to him. If he disregards them and breaks it off with you again, consider yourself lucky. That's just insensitive and selfish. A relationship is supposed to be a win-win.....not a win-lose.
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