A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This isn't really a question, I just wanted to know what other people think. I'm 30 and came out of a long relationship last January. I suppose I have always been guys who have been a bit "bad" or guys that don't know what they want, commitment phobes etc.I have recently (couple of months) met a guy who is very sweet and I like him, he's nice to me and treats me well but I worry about whether he has enough for me, I am used to being kept on my toes, but none of these relationships have ever worked out, is it time I stopped playing with the bad boys and settle for someone who doesn't quite push all the buttons? is there such a thing as some one who is perfect? What do you guys think? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2008): I have waisted the best years of my life on "Bad-Boys" And now I have a man who treats me the way I should've been treated! And I don't miss the b-boys one bit. Looking back I can see that the traits that I was initially attracted to in My ex of 17 yrs were the very same things that tore us apart in the end. The arrogance, over-confidence, aggressiveness, and rebelion from mainstream life-style. All that eventually turned into control, bullying, and ultimately, verbal and physical abuse. It took most of my life but finally I have outgrown the malcontents of society. I cherish the mainstream, serene, and dramaless life I lead now!
I hope it doesn't take you as long as it has me. My guy tells me that the life I have lived and everything I've been through has made me who I am today. So I quess I had to work through it. Hopefully, you can learn quicker than I did.
Good Luck
A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (27 November 2008):
 i think you shouldn't hook up with him as i ahve a feeling in the long run you're going to hurt him. because again you settle into that catagory of women who like assholes and like then treating you like crap.. ie : treat them mean, keep them keen. apparently this have worked for a good 10+ years on you.
yes thats right, someone is telling you a little harsh truth. and i know your bloods boiling by now but its true.
you'll get into a relationship with this guy and he will treat you like a princess.. and a little way down the road you'll tire for the subtle smell of bs that you've been so used to.
leave the guy be.
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A
female
reader, Desired23  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 I can tell you, I've been there before. "Bad boys" are exciting, they're the kind you want to be with 'cause they have an edge about them. But they aren't the type to settle down and want to get married.
I know, personally, I've had a hard time making the transition, cause alot of the 'good guys' I went out with didn't challenge me and just didn't seem to want to fight for anything.
As far as a guy being perfect, I don't believe they exist, but finding the guy that is perfect for you is different. If you can find someone that completely fits you, and you to him, then hold him tight and don't let go!
~Des
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): There will never be a perfect human. Ever.
To shoot for perfection in one self is an admirable trait. But to expect it in another is sheer ignorant naivety at best and outright stupidity at worst.
The greatest loves in history had to do with 80, 90 percent perfect and 20, 10 percent shitehouse.
You ar between the ages of 30 and 35. Lets face it, you are no longer young. You can no longer use youth as an excuse to make dumb decisions.
You know how exciting a bad relationship can be, and you also know how they end... with pain and humiliation.
You must know that because else you wouldn't be here.
So you are torn now between the young, dumb and useless you. And the you that you can't run from. The one that will catch up no matter where you hide.
The you that wants security and a safe-haven from the world. A slow-burn relationship that will go the distance Sly Stallone style. A constant candle-light in the darkness that will burn for the rest of your days. Not a red sun that will go nova in a short time and take you with it, leaving you to recombine yourself from the pieces it made.
The man may not be perfect. But by allowing shallow selfishness, a very human trait, to guide you in this you lose the chance to explore each other both physically and emotionally. To see just how far down you can make your feelings go and not matter what count on the other being there to bring you back to the surface.
No one is perfect. Not you. Not him. And most certainly not me.
So talk to the man about your concerns and you might find that a lot can be solved by communication and compromise... so long as the heart is there for both of you.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): This is quite typical. We men don't quite understand why women tend to be drawn by the bad types. Good guys do exist, but are not as forthright or roudy as the bad boys. They probably have also been hurt by women who snubbed them for bad guys.
So the answer to your question is, you should hold on tight to him and teach him which buttons he needs to push. Otherwise, you'll find yourself pigeonholed as the one who wants only bad guys.
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