A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend, love interest, that has stopped trusting me after I messed up a lot of times. When I first liked him I was afraid of rejection so I pretended not to like him. I finally told him my true feelings when it was too late: when he had a girlfriend. He then rejected me for that reason and because he thought I didn't like him. I took this extremely hard and cried in public plenty of times. He thought I was just doing this for attention so he stopped talking to me. I was utterly shattered. He doesn't realize how much he means to me. It's been months since we've actually talked (we were close friends) and we can't even stand next to each other when talking to our other friends. (we still share the same friends) We sometimes say hi in the hallways but he seems to be unsure of whether he wants to talk to me or not. He also gives me glances when we have class together. To me it seems like he doesn't know what to believe about me or not. I know I was way too clingy and upset after all of that but he should at least give me a second chance. I know I seemed to have a negative impact on him but I want to be able to pursue friendship and hopefully gain a chance of relationship with him...Please, I need reassurance and good advice for this, because it's been driving me insane for a long time now! Please, help me!I might need to elaborate more so if you need any clarification just tell me. I'd like to have a detailed evaluation and multiple answers if possible… Sorry if it seems like I'm asking a lot.Thanks for your time! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2012): sorry but I don't think you can gain his trust back because you've shattered it one too many times.
you should learn how to conduct yourself better in relationships so this doesn't happen again. You should change the way you behave - don't be so secretive on the one hand, and then freak out so much and get so emotional on the other hand. those are two wild extremes, no one wants to be taken on a roller coaster ride no matter your reasons. So, get this sorted out within yourself first. You'll get another chance at love, don't worry. But it probably won't be with him. You need to start over with a new guy who hasn't experienced the "old" you, someone who has no reason to mistrust you. That's the best way forward.
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