A
male
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anonymous
writes:I wasn't very popular at school (both primary and secondary) though not in a bad way, just people dind't want me to be their best friend. Even when I got my year book and people wrote stuff about me in it, it made me embarrassed because it was either harsh (some of the hard guys at school) or always the same thing - you were too quiet. Therefore I threw my yearbook out.However is it possible for some loser like me to date and have a long term relationship with a girl, at uni, who was popular, nice to people and everyone wanted to be her friend?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2006): I went through the same as you,always the one that was last to be picked at any games when teams was involved,always having pointless comments made towards me and generally it did knock my confidence.Now im in a steady relationship with a wonderful person who is popular with people.What has gone in your life happened when you was growing up and now your at uni and you are a adult and so is this girl she might well be popular and you said yourself she is nice towards people.Try your luck with her and see how it goes if anything else it sounds like you could have a good friendship with her.
A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (2 July 2006):
 People will see you as a loser if you believe that you are one.
Try to be yourself and sont try to be something you are not. Girls like a guy with natural charm.
As for being bullied, you have now became a much better person than the bully, so you have had your revenge already.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (2 July 2006):
 Re-read your post as if someone you knew (but not you) had written it. What conclusions would you draw? What would you have to say about the tone of the post and the attitude of the author? How would you advise this person?
Before I went to uni I felt much the same as you did - a loser. But that was entirely a self-impression and actually bore little resemblance to reality. When I went to uni I underwent a total attitude change. I saw a change of scene as the chance to make things go my way, so to speak. I've never looked back since then, twenty years on.
You need to make a choice - either continue to feed your current self-image or go through a remake in your mind. It's not as hard as you think, but you need to work hard at it. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, uonlyliveonce +, writes (2 July 2006):
 of course it is there isnt a rule book saying who everyone can and cant date.
lots of people have a hard time at school kids and teenagers are cruel growing up and always will be. once you leave school its a differant ball game your all iin the big real world and playground games of who's popular and who isnt dont apply anymore.
and this girl you say shes popular nice to peopleand evry1 wants to be her friend. so what?? she's only human and you've just as much chance of dating her as anyone else im sure your nice to people too you just didnt have the best time ever at school, join the club. your not at school anymore hold you head up high act confident even when you dont feel it and dont care what anyone thinks of you. your not a kid anymore whats the worst that could happen
and if you ever get knocked backed just forget it tommorows another day. your not a loser your just the lad all the big guys decided to pick on and they've knocked you confidence. worlds your's and you can have any1 you want with a bit of confidence and a smile.
and just remember the only reason people bully is because there insecure about themselves
go n get whatever girl you want x x x
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