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Is it okay to experiment???

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Question - (1 May 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2011)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi. i am 23 years old and about 1 year ago i came out of a serious relationship. i then seen quite a few rebound guys. and to be honest, none of them really floated my boat... and for the first time in my life i am starting to look at women in attractive and sexual ways. i think i am bored of men.

is it ok to experiment?

what happens if i dont like women?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

I think it's okay to expiriment so long as the woman understands that's what the relationship is to you and she's okay with it. Generally, most lesbian woman (and most people in general) don't appreciate being someone's experiment.

On the other hand, there are some lesbian woman that think of straight women as a welcome challenge and enjoy turning them.

I had similar feelings of boredom and disappointment with men after a bad break up. After a long dry spell, a woman I had befriended approached me repeately. I had never thought of myself as gay...but then I didn't neccessarily think of myself as straight either...so eventually, I decided to try out a relationship with her. I think I naively assumed on some level, that because we were both women, that it would be easier for us and that we would get along better. This assumption was completely wrong.

When her drama got out of hand and I broke up with her, she accused me of "expirimenting" on her. She ended up resentful, angry and genuinely hurt. Even though I don't regret ending the relationship, I really regret having made her feel that way.

As far as logistics go with expirimenting, if you make it a goal to expiriment with women, you'll encounter a lot lesbians who will resent your interest in them as a personal exploration...they will find it patronizing.

My advice it to keep dating men and perhaps also date woman whose company you actually enjoy. I'd also delay sex with either gender until you build up a real emotional bond with them.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

Experiment all you wish, no one can tell you what to do with your own life.

But don't judge all us men to be douchenozzles because of a few bad eggs.

Flynn 24

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A female reader, curiosity1103 United States +, writes (2 May 2011):

I think it is completley okay with experimenting. I have myself. Tried it for a while, nothing too serious- but, I do have a boyfriend now.

But I disagree with GeeGee, lesbianism is not all-in or all out. I had a relative who came out to her parents and everyone that she was gay. Had a girlfriend for a couple years even. But, when they broke up she met a guy, got married even and now has a baby.

But if you are just even wanting to experiment- then why not?? I say- it's definently OKAY!!

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A female reader, GeeGee255 United States +, writes (2 May 2011):

GeeGee255 agony auntIt's a nice thought and your are not the first woman to have it. And experimenting is fine. But lesbianism is kind of an all-in or all-out proposition.

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