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After some time together, he won't give me any oral.

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 May 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2011)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I've been with this guy for 1 and a half year now, the longest relationship so far, and I have noticed that his sexual habits have changed somehow during this meantime. In the begginigng, he used to give oral sex to me every single time we had sex/slept together, and mostly he looked pleased to be doing it. After some time, it got rarer and rarer, so that now I have gone 6 months (believe that!) without any oral.

I have never asked him to perform oral sex on me cause I dont think sex can be done as a favor, or something of the likes, but I always let him know that I like having oral.

I tried to pull a joke on that one day, some months ago, just to give him a hint that I was missing oral sex, he laughed but didnt take that seriously. I feel that if I bring that topic and talk seriously to him, either he's going to perform oral sex (just because I asked - which I'll find awful) or he will continue to refuse doing it (which wouldnt solve the issue), either way it'll end badly. I miss having oral sex, dammit.

I wonder what the reasons for resuming might be (in order of probability):

1)He was not fond of it since the beggining, but at that time he felt he needed to please me, and now he is waiting for me to ask.

2)He was not fond of it since the beggining, but at that time he felt he needed to please me, and now not anymore.

3)He likes doing it, but not to me anymore. He needs challenge.

...

1)What might be the most probable reason in your oppinion ppl?

2)Any ideas on how to solve this dilemma?

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A female reader, FluffyPie United States +, writes (2 May 2011):

FluffyPie agony aunt"I tried to pull a joke on that one day, some months ago, just to give him a hint that I was missing oral sex, he laughed but didnt take that seriously." - because men aren't mind readers. Talk to him seriously about it and be straight to the point - "I want you to give me oral now". See who's gonna laugh this time!

Anyway, make sure you have a proper hygiene or if you know that you have a particular smell down there and it's not hygiene-related, go see a doctor. Funky smell isn't something a guy would like to experience. Smell is indeed meant to attract males, but is it's fishy or rotten meat-like smell, it's not pleasant anymore and it's a sign of infection or bad hygiene.

Take showers together, scrub each others privates and get him down to business!

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A male reader, Illithid United States +, writes (2 May 2011):

Illithid agony auntOral is a lot of fun, but a lot of work too. Even if he likes it, he may not bother if he doesn't know you miss it so much. Men aren't psychic. You have to let him know what you like, how you like it, when you want it, and how much it matters to you. Even if he DOES give oral only because you asked, so what? You're not begging him or guilting him into it, just letting him know how he can please you, knowing that he wants to please you but needs direction. If he asked you to try a different position, would you do it just because you had to, or because you love him and want to keep things fun?

There are the usual concerns, still. How's your hygiene? Maybe shower with him first so you both know you're squeeky clean. Maybe 69 with him so you both get and give at once. Maybe he feels you don't give him oral enough and didn't think it was fair to give and not get? Maybe he's just got other things on his mind like work or family stress and needs help cutting loose in bed. Maybe he just got lazy because you don't tell him you're dissatisfied.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011):

1) Do you think your taste/smell might have changed for any reason?

2) Just ask him why.

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