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Is it common for mistresses or the other woman to get stood up frequently by men who already have partners?

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Do "other women" get stood up regularly?

I know I am not going to be popular here, but is it common for mistresses or the other woman to get stood up frequently by men who already have partners?

Also, how do these other women cope if they only see or here from these men as and when.

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (17 January 2009):

Blue_Angel0316 agony aunt You are very welcome hon. From now on hon what you need to do is to stand up for who you really are and you set higher standards for yourself. You can do fine just wait from here on in and YOU LEARN TO BE HARD TO GET..DON'T PLAY HARD TO GET BE HARD TO GET!

Blessings,

Blue_Angel

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you Blue Angel! - Sometimes I think God hasn't intended for me to have a man and that is why I go for men who are hard to get!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2009):

I think if you are willing to become "the other woman" you have to accept it for what it is...you will be stood-up, kept waiting, and cry yourself to sleep some nights. Even if the guy tells you his marriage is on the rocks, his family will always come first. The times you have together, may be amazing, but it is what it is! You are the other woman.

I am not speaking from my own experience, I have always shyed away from married men. I am not judging you at all. And to tell you the truth I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately. I do however realize the ramifications, and the heartbreak of the scenario. And we tend to lie to ourselves and convince ourselves that we can handle it...but can we really? All any of us are really looking for is Love! There's a part of us that hopes maybe this is it...

That's all I can say about this topic, my answer is yes be prepared for disappointment and frustration!

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you don't become brokenhearted!

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A female reader, Blue_Angel0316 United States +, writes (17 January 2009):

Blue_Angel0316 agony auntOf course they do! YOU WOULD BW THE OTHER WOMAN and sitting around waiting for the time he can spend with you. If he has a wife and family, that time is probably going to be even more limited. Why would you want to be t he t other woman? How are you going to feel being tagged a homewrecker? Are you really happy settling for his "crumbs" of affection and time that he has to give? Hon YOU DESRVE BETTER!

Alot of time a man who already has a partner and cheats on them will usually wind up cheating on the new partner as well. Coping with this isn't really necessary. The best thing you could do for yourself and your self-esteem is to let this man go. He isn't FREE to be with you and YOU are not getting the best of him. HIS partner is! I know we can rationalize that he may not being treated well at home but he has a responsibliity. If he isn't happy with home, he should leave and then persue. It's unlikely this will happen, as he obviously isn't giving you much of himself now. It seems that he doesn't really have the time to be as much as a REAL LOVER to you if he's leaving you sitting around waiting.

Think hard on this relationship hon, I am afraid it's going to be a very dissapointing one. Your post here shows concern and neglect. Being stood up is going to happen all the time because he knows he can do this and you will still be waiting. Also he can't let his partner know about you so he can't just waltz out anytime he pleases without raising suspecions. I suggest that you leave this man to his partner and PART ways with him. Find someone who WILL be FREE to persue you and bring you the happiness and joy that is deserving of a good woman. *Sometimes people make mistakes and they often regret it.

Change your status now and retain whatever dignity and respect you have left. Being the other woman is NEVER a GOOD IDEA. It breaks up homes, ruins the lives of any children involved, can cause serious emotional damage, mental health illness, loss of finances,extreme stress, physical ailments and broken hearts. Put yourself higher on the pedistal and realize that you are worth MORE than to be treated like SECOND BEST. EVERYONE IN A REALATIONSHIP DESERVES TO BE #1 IN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHP.

HOW TO COPE?? SIMPLE!!ASK GOD TO DELIVER YOU FROM YOUR WAYS. ASK THAT HE CHANGES YOUR LIFE AND BRINGS A DECENT,GOOD,FAITHFUL AND LOVING MAN WHO WANTS ONLY YOU INTO YOUR LIFE.

MY BEST WISHES ALWAYS AND MAY YOU FIND THE LOVE YOU SEEK AND MAY IT BE GREATER THAN ANY OTHER YOU HAVE EVER KNOWN.

I am so sorry hon but I really don't think you are going to find it with this man. I PRAY that you can see and make the change you need before you ruin your own life. Before you loose the rest of your dignity, self-esteem, self-respect and perhaps even your sanity waiting on a man who really isn't AVAILABLE! Chances are HE NEVER WILL BE!

God bless,

Blue_Angel

^(**)^

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