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Is he taking advantage of me? I feel like he's wasting my time!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 August 2007)
A female Macedonia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is it just my problem or there is real one?

Im dating a guy 1 month, but almost every day we see each other..It started unpredictable and thought would be one-night-stand..He's nice, but he is temporarily in my city..I have psychological problem, need to define things..What we are? What shall i Do? I go out, everything is fine, come back home confused, feeling like being simply not me, like wasting my time, like he is taking advantage of me being week and broke in the moment...Is it my problem or what? I just think i should simply avoid him in future, coz dont know what else to do..

I really need some advice, Please,Anybody!?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks hlskitten,

I do think i should ask him, and think i will in near future..

How MUCH do I like Him? well, feel im geting more and more bound to him, and got that damn feeling he is getting more and more far from me...Maybe is just mine perspective, so Ou're right should ask him..

The point is just of me being afraid to loose him, thats all...Im a kind of person that gets the things easily, not noticing somethimes whats happening, and have that attitude guess that want to let them go, just Go... usualy it ends up with loosing or distracting people i realy liked..Dont know why? should ask the doctor maybe/...

Hope this time will not be like that..

Thanks again

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (27 August 2007):

hlskitten agony auntEna,

You can be in the driving seat in this situation.

When you go out to dinner, go dutch, ie...go halves! When he goes to pay the bill, put your hand in your pocket. I wont have any guy paying for everything. Its even stevens, 50/50 these days!

Be a tad more assertive?

But the main issue here is you feeling like you are being used and until you speak to him, you wont know any different and will analyze it til it drives you insane and you go doing something silly before knowing the real facts!

How much do YOU like HIM?

I'm all for using my instincts, but with something like this you need to assert yourself and ask! What happens if you really like this guy but end up dumping him, when he really liked you?

The last thing you want is him thinking you jump to conclusions?

I am not understanding why you cant talk to this guy and ask where you stand?

Am i missing something?

Sorry if i am.

C xxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

OK, To add up..I know if somebody answer this,it will likely be: just Go ahead honey and ask him about his attidute about the whole thing..But is not that simple, Scepticism and caution still prevail my mind,we all know that man as well as woman can turn out to be not what we expect...Ok he is nice, he is doing astonishing things for me, but still got this feeling that im wasting my time, is not what i need....And when i m broke, and somebody is paying the hotel and dinner bill, fell like im an escort service...Would not any woman feel like that?Especially when she is with man she doesnt know well,when he doesnt leave her a breath without him, and sex is somehow inevitable after? Whats on man s mind on such occassion if not escort?

The point i get is straightforward: Should i simply avoid him,and focus on my things(which find somehow hardly to do in the past time), or should i define things no matter how they re? I know it sounds like escapist move, but when One is not prepared,fragile, week and confused about its and the other side feelings and attitudes what shall do, but try to avoid situations that cannot be controlable by him/her?

And after all if anybody have but once the feeling of being an "escort" or whatever alike, no matter of the curcumstances whow any would react?

And just wondering to short up, What You think he will Think of me if i do such move?Male perspective ?

know many questions and not defined things, but will appreciate any view of the things..

Thanks, Ena

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A female reader, hlskitten United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2007):

hlskitten agony auntHi

You need to outright ask him!

I've been in a relationship that started out as casual but ended up lasting 2 years and we adored each other! So sometimes it can start out like that, but turn into something more.

You will only know if you talk to him. You cant second guess something like that.

You have a right to know.

Good luck.

C xxxxx

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