A
female
age
41-50,
*heche7
writes:I've been friends with this guy (let's call him Carlos)for almost 1.5 years. We met at school and we clicked instantly. There seemed to be an attraction. He asked out me out to lunch a few times, but at the time I had a boyfriend so I was really hesitant. Eventually I broke up with my boyfriend (we've been having many issues for a while)Carlos and I started hanging out more. He mention while hanging out a few times that he did not want a relationship with anyone because he did not feel ready in many ways and he has been hurt in the past. I respected that, even though I had feelings him. I felt like if it was meant to be, he'll make the first move. Well he would tell me frequently how beautiful I am and how great of person I am. One day he took my hand and held it as we walked downtown. He introduced me to his family. He even was singing a song about how he and I were "romancing". He opened up to me about his past back home. And he always gave me these big hugs. The last hug he gave me resulted in us holding hands once a again. (We never kissed)He even said he loved me one time (might have been a friendship thing). Well from those signs I figured maybe he was liking me, so I started showing my feelings for him by telling him how much I enjoy our time together. (I didn't utter the words "I like you".) Well Carlos started getting really distant. Then yesterday he basically said he was worried about me seeing him as more than a friend and that things felt weird. He doesn't want our friendship to falter. Why is he pushing me away when I showed a lot less affection towards him than he did to me? Now I am so confused. What is his deal?
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female
reader, cheche7 +, writes (27 May 2010):
cheche7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy concern now is that I lost him as my friend and I scared him away. As much as feel for him, I don't want to lose him as my friend. Regardless of the signs I though I saw, we were close. Besides, it was not like I tried to kiss him, or anything more. It's only been two days since we talked, and I feel weird about calling him. I really don't know what to do.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): He told you he doesn't want a relationship and if he started something with you it would go there and i think he doesn't want that right now and he might be afraid.
other thing possible is that he really likes you only as a friend and you're just overreading those signs.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 May 2010):
 Carlos is a Spanish name. If your alias for him is his real name, or if he's Hispanic, his hugging you meant a lot more than it would usually mean in Anglo culture. It would mean he REALLY liked you but was being respectful. In this sense, it would mean a lot more than a kiss. But even without the hugs, he gave every indication that he liked you as more than a friend.
I have no clue as to why he's acting like this. I do know you don't have to be anybody's toy.
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