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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a multiracial realtionship for 7 months. Everything seems to be fine, except that he seems to like to be in his home sleeping and I am more outdoor person. I just changed a job and I have to work really late and we haven't really spend time together.We been postponing a movie that we wanted to see and I asked him if we could see it this weekend. He said that he wanted to go out with his friends. Since I wanted to spend time with him, I asked if he could do it next time with his friend and spend some time with me and he said "Your life didn't start with me, isn't?" I am not sure what does it mean for a male side, but I felt that I am bothering/annoying him or maybe he is bored of me or maybe I am too demanding? Or maybe I am misunderstand his meaning since English is not my native language. What does "Your life didn't start with me" really means? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (12 June 2006):
 dear reader. i don't think your being too demanding at all its no bad thing to want to spend time with your partner but i'm sorry to say it does actually sound like his getting bored with you, you really need to talk to him about this and find out just what he wants from you no-one needs to be in a relationship where your not clear as of what the other person wants. speak to him tell him how you feel and ask him what he wants, where he see's the relationship going if you or he have any doubts then i think your in the wrong relationship there don't be scared to ask what you want its the only way your going to find out
good luck all the nest xxx
A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (12 June 2006):
 yep you are right sometimes if you demand too much he /she can get bored because if you demand too much attention it will drive him away
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): Correction, dear reader. Instead of writing "your life didn't start with you" I should have wrote "your life didn't start with him". Apologies for that.
Irish
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): You are saying you both don't spend a lot of time together due to each of your own specific job requirements, it doesn't sound like you are really demanding a lot from him, dear. It doesn't sound like you are behaving clingy, needy or dependent on him. So what is the problem? Well, dear-I am a strong believer in intuition and it sounds like you are experiencing some intuitive warning signs. These are gut feelings that inform you that "something is wrong." These feelings should be trusted. As they are trusted, they will begin to clarify what is going wrong in your relationship with him.. If he is saying "your life didn't start with you'-he's telling you that he wants space. Diminishing intimacy, lack of time spent together, fewer common goals- is a closing of the heart. This really sounded like a criticism to me. If he's distancing himself, then the next thing that may happen is your relationship with him will become open to more and more frequent critiques like this. I would sit him down and ask him maturely and calmly, what he meant. He could've just had a bad day and momentarily said a hurtful thing. You need to find out. But good communication in an open, honest way is important. If he refuses to discuss this with you and balks at trying to resolve this issue, then you will know and you need to reassess this situation. When a man loves a woman dearly, he will work with her and against her.
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