A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright 2 part question here, so there is this girl i at college i really want to ask out. she and i usually talk when we see each other and waive if we are in a hurry, anyway a few days ago she mentioned that she and her boyfriend had broken up but from what i gathered she seemed to be over it. Anyway my question is, we have exams coming up so going off campus may not work as well considering how busy we will each be so would asking her to grab food at our university pub be a good alternative?any help is greatly appreciated
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male
reader, The Realist +, writes (4 April 2011):
 I know what you mean. Just keep it simple, saying that you really like her and hope that you two can keep in touch and get to know each other. Also you could tell her that you think she is beautiful but the big thing is keeping it simple and not dragging on. That way she will know that you like her without it being so much all at once.
The best time to tell her is any time that you two are alone. It doesn't have to be on a date or anything and I think that it is best when it is more of a surprise. I mean she probably knows that you like her but it can still be a surprise when you tell her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright thanks, 1 final question. This is the first time I've told a girl how I really feel about her and I have no idea how to approach it because I don't want to come on too strong but I want her to know I really like her
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (2 April 2011):
I think you should tell her how you feel and keep in touch with her but its hard to say if you should wait for her and not just go out and be free in the summer.
When you don't see her too much I'm sure you still flirt so it shouldn't move into the friend zone because she will know what there is between you two.
The problem with you waiting for her till the next year is if she doesn't you might feel like you missed out on summer. Let her know how you feel and approach it as if you will go on with your life till you two meet again. I wouldn't want you to pass up a good girl for someone you are waiting for who might not work out, unless this girl is really that special. Try and catch her after exams because I know how stressed people get, my exams are coming up this month too so its probably best not to pressure her into taking time out of studying.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate on the situation: hey guys, well as it turns out i ended up reconsidering this whole thing for 2 reasons 1) exams are wayy to close and 2 and the main reason was because if this ended up working out we both live in different cities which would mean being apart for the whole summer. so i guess my new question is what should i do? should i tell her how i feel and pray she waits til next year? and a second sub question im just wondering if i have entered the dreaded friend-zone with her because while we don't see each other too much we do usually have conversations when we do see each other and the other day we ended up walking to class and talking the whole way.again i really appreciate the help guys
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (30 March 2011):
I don't know if she would directly see it as a date but it does set you up really well to ask her out. It is a really nice way to get to know her and make sure she knows that you are interested her. Its a non threatning way to get to know her, which increasing her comfort level will make things go much smoother. Lunch is really just time to spend together, then you should definitely ask her out for something else. You could make it cute and say that now you have had lunch together it would be great if you could treat her for dinner. Or see if you two could meet up one evening and go bowling then for drinks. Activities are always good for dates.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalright, i just want to start by thanking all of you guys for ur help, i really do appreciate it and i still havent asked her out yet but i have one more question, on wednesdays she does not have class and i don't have class until 4 so i was thinking of just casually asking her to join me for lunch at the school dining hall so my question is would she see this as a date (for the record i want to ask her our after we have lunch) and if we do end up going for lunch and i do ask her out i really don't want to ask her if she would like to go get food again, so what would be a good alternative?
Thanks and again i really do appreciate this
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (28 March 2011):
If its just the two of you then I think that she would still see it as a date. You're right with dinner being alot of pressure but this could just be a study snack where you two can just order something like finger food which gives you time to talk. Do you feel like there would be enough to talk about with her? If not then it might be better to find some kind of activity to do as well.
I still think that the pub is a good choice because of the low pressure situation and then you can decide if you want to do something else for a second date.
If there is anywhere to walk around campus that might be nice too. Depending where you are here in Canada it may be warm enough to do so.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): I think it's a wonderful idea! Low pressure for your first time out, but you'll still be able to talk while you're there. Let us know how it goes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionReply to: The Realist
thanks for your help, i really do appreciate it, but i forgot to mention that this is a first date, and i know that it usually isn't good to take a girl for food or to the movies for a first date because either there is too much pressure (dinner) or there is little to no communication (movie) so what if i just asked her if she wanted to go out for a drink at the pub (not necessarily alcohol) or would this still fall under the category of what would be considered too much pressure, and would she still see it as a date?
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A
male
reader, The Realist +, writes (26 March 2011):
I think that it would be a good idea. Its not like you want to be all over this girl so early on so a somewhere too formal may over whelm her. This way you two can talk and get to know each other. Also it would be something that is most available to you both.
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