A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and we've lived together for 5 months. We are very much in love, and he is definitely the best influence in my life (I have a depressive, judgmental family, struggle to relate to people well enough to make close friends, and have a string of controlling and often violent ex boyfriends). We work because we are opposites; I am emotional and think too much whereas he is laid back and rarely worries about things. He is my 'rock'. But recently I feel as though I've got to do something about my behaviour. I occasionally get really worked up about something small and end up an emotional wreck. It was manageable when it only happened occasionally, but over the last few months it's gotten worse, and about once a week I work myself into a state and my boyfriend has to calm me down. They are usually about insecurities about us, finding tiny flaws in the relationship and blowing them out of proportion. The thing is, I know he loves me and that our relationship is solid. The fact that I'm getting worked up about nothing and pushing him away is causing more damage than the thing I was worrying about in the first place. I just get gripped with fear that I might lose him, and in the process push him away; a vicious circle.What can I do? I can't afford counseling. Do you have any advice, or perhaps recommend a book or website with helpful info? Many thanks
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 February 2011):
 I think you need to do some research; there must be some counseling available at a low cost. Check with social services, I think you need to have professional help to get over the insecurities that are causing your distress. It almost sounds like panic attacks. Do this ASAP, if these occurrences have been on the increase you don't want to wait getting the help you need.
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