A
female
age
36-40,
*oyalSweetness
writes:I'm 20 and dating a 24 year old man who is currently in the Army but getting out sometime next year. He likes me but he says he wants to hold off being in a serious relationship until he gets out of the Army and gets his house. But why is it so easy for guys to put there feelings on hold? And who says by the time he's ready for a serious relationship that he wants it to be with me? I'm falling in love with him, but I don't see the point in telling him, because if he can put his feelings on hold, does he even have any for me? Should I tell him how I feel, or be patient, or move on?
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female
reader, RoyalSweetness +, writes (21 October 2008):
RoyalSweetness is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPyschicDove, that was beautiful. Really put things in perspective for me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Hey Royalsweetness,
I think that you should leave the situation alone for now. If he wants to wait until he gets out to pursue a relationship till he gets out there's no point in making yourself wait until the "possibility" of getting hurt or being with him. I think that you should do whatever makes you happy right now.
If you want you can casually date other guys or pursue another for the time being. At least until you know for sure. If you want you can tell him you like him back but let yourself be happy as well. Give yourself some freedom, because if you don't and things don't work out between the two of you, you're going to regret not letting yourself have fun.
Hope I helped some,
Good Luck and Take Care!
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A
female
reader, PsychicDove  +, writes (21 October 2008):
 Hi Honey,
Oh dear, you must know how hard they train the Armed Forces? They are taught how to kill, protect, save, destroy, how to fire, about ammunition, terrorism, honour, country.
He is a HEAD person sweetie, many army men are sentimental, but your guy is crisp and brisk in his emotions. I can see that you share a long-term potential with him.
Perhaps marriage, but I also see you leading a happy life yet with a tinge of disappointment, like the one you are facing now. Well, you could take this challenge and show him how beautiful falling in love is!
Or you could find someone else who is not that crisp as him. Someone sentimental perhaps? Not really his fault but perhaps his nature is like that, many HEAD people love a lot, more than HEART persons but their will power is stronger than average people hence people misunderstand them.
Think about it honey. But if you did proceed with him, he will take very good care of you, all you are seeing is he is controlling his emotions, but you are not seeing that he wants to give you security and is not just jumping in without planning beforehand.
If he restraints his love, he is someone who will not commit adultery or betray you. The more emotional some men are, the more fickle can they be. An Army man is a man of honour, he won't ever behave in a cheap manner.
Your guy is a blessing in disguise.
Take care okay?
~PsychicDove
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