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female
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anonymous
writes: I've got a serious crush on someone over the internet, but I'm in a long term relationship.I met the person on an online game, and he was always nice to me, though we were never close friends. Recently I started using voice chat with the game as I played alongside him, and for some reason hearing his voice, I just have developed a huge crush. I've made excuses to use voice chat more and hang out with him in the game, which I think was the wrong thing to do because it's made the attraction stronger. I feel like I'm falling in love with him, though I have nothing to suggest he feels the same way or would be remotely interested in me, nor do I think he might be interested (though he is single).I'm also in a long term relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I'm happy in our situation and really would not want to leave him, even though the "spark" is gone and we have problems from time to time. I want to stay by him and make a real future together. I feel just so guilty about my feelings at the moment.Is this normal? What should I do about it?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2006): When I hear of people having crushes on people off the internet without meeting them in real life, I always wonder why on-line relationships are such easy substitutes for real life. Dear, don't you find it quite alarming that you are so easily compelled and attracted to the online voice of a man than a live, willing, loving man (your bf)? The reason I say that, is because you stated you are bored and you have to be careful here..this guy online is simply brings newness and you are infatuated, excited and intrigued. Have you ever seen him, met his friends, his family, been in his world-do you really know who he is?
Sometimes, when a bit of complacency and boredom hits a good, love relationship, people tend to focus on what they don’t have, not on what they have. So just remember, if you continue on this path, you will be starting a sequence of events which could end with someone you love, becoming very hurt. Just think about all the players in this scenario. Who is real..who is fantasy?
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (29 September 2006):
 I think the best thing you can do is take sometime out from both of them and work through your thoughts and feelings, you need to close on one of them in your head and make a choice but you also need to make sure you make the right choice for the right reasons.
Don't just stay with your boyfriend because you've been with him a long time and because you feel secure as that's not what will make you happy, but also don't get with the guy offline just because it's nice and exciting.
Good luck :o)
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