A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:couple of years ago when we first got our computer came down in the middle of the night to get a glass of water.My husband had not x'd out of the screen so when I did so there was a letter to someone on line.He gave a false name and said to this person the things he would like to do sexually.I can not ever forget this or forgive him.....he lies about this and many other things we have been married 18 years have 3 children and Im not from America.When he has been away on buisness trips he comes back with other peoples t shirts(small ladies size 8)cloth hangers not from his hotel room with his trousers perfectly hung(something he has never done in 18 yrs of marriage.Other ladies hair on the inside of his clothes.He will not allow me anywhere near his computer,he other day he accidently left it turned on.When I got in the bedroom I noticed this and purposley locked the door just to see his reaction.He ran up the stairs fast as lightening banged on the door and his eyes immediately fell toward the computer screen(not easy to do as it was on the floor at his side of the bed)I have begged him to go to marriage counseling (he wont)When I get mad he laughs in my face.I am at the point I just want to go home and be around people I trust not an easy thing when your in a foreign country.Please please point me in the right direction.I desperately need help with this.Did I point out that my creep of a husband manages to charm the pants of everone he meets Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (1 April 2009):
 yes, you have to think about you, and the children, you cant do this in the house with him there - take a trip, "home" or anywhere, with the kids, take some time for yourself, give yourself room to think and breathe. When you have this, you'll be able to see and do things a little more clearly/easily. Cheatin, in and of itself is bad enough, but that can sometimes be forgiven and worked through - however, this is just rediculous, it demeans you as a peron and you canot live like that, full stop. If he is unwilling to go to counselling it is most likely he is unwilling to admit to himself that there is a problem - it i like an alcoholic, they only get better if they accept the problem and are willing to give up the drink - it doesn't sound like he is willing to give up the affair/affairs or whatever it is he's playing at - this is unacceptable on so many levels. If you cant get back to your family right now, maybe you have a friend you can confide in? Take some steps to pave a way to get out of the relationship or talk to him again - you need to tell him exactly what you suspect or know, give him a chance t o come clean and then work through it or divorce him. Im in the usa, my family are in the UK, so i know how it feels to be so far away from that support. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): HiPlease do not waste your precious life living like this. Make a new life enjoy everything about you. Do things you have never done before. Remember who you are...marriage counselling will not help ..you are married to a cheating yellow back. Wait for a real man who will treat you like a lady and a man who will love to touch you. Life is short and we all get older and life passes us by...LIVE AND LOVE. Good luck via con dios
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2009): Hon I think you have the answer but you're waiting for us to validate it so let me do that for you.. YOU NEED TO LEAVE!!!! Be the strong woman that you know you can be and make the best decision for your kids and yourself. Go back home to your family and in time you will see the clarity in your decision. No wife deserves to feel that way all the time and it's especially hard for you seeing that you are not surrounded by the people that actually do love you.. Trust me one day your kids will respect you for leaving such a poor excuse for a husband!!!!
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