A
female
age
41-50,
*rista217
writes:So this is a follow-up from my last post....I have decided once and for all to end it with my husband, but how do I get over him? I have 3 years of my heart, body and soul invested in this man and the life I hoped to live. He was my first and only everything (emotionally and physically) and I know I will always miss the good times. We have a daughter together so I cannot cut off all ties (believe me, if I could I would because I know that would be best) so how do I let go and move on?I am not wanting to date other people right now. Some have told me that's what I need to do but I really need to 'rediscover' myself before I get back into a relationship. I changed when I was with this man, I allowed things to happen I never thought I would and overlooked things that have always been too important in the past for me to ignore. That being said, I am afraid to "lose myself" again and don't want to date anyone...not to mention it's not fair to start something when I am still in love with the "good" part of my husband.
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, krista217 +, writes (26 July 2008):
krista217 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for all responses. I am not willing to give the relationship another shot...I have done this countless times and am tired of his empty promises as NOTHING has changed. For me to decide to get a divorce there is NO reconciliation, I have tried everything to make this marriage work but it cannot work if it is one-sided. We have actually only lived together for about a total of 6 months of our 3 year relationship, and of that time only 3 months was since our (now 22 months) daughter was born, so I have basically been a single mom. One big problem I have with him is how he treats his daughter, he is not abusive to her but he is definitely not the parent that I want for my daughter nor has he helped me in raising her. So I will be fine as a single mom.I know he will be getting a roommate soon, possibly a female one, and that will bother me greatly. I know it will hurt when he meets someone else, and I know it will be hard for me to say no when (yet again) he tells me he'll change and begs me to take him back. But this is what's best for my daughter (who IS MY ENTIRE LIFE) and for myself so I also know I have to be strong and think about she and I now instead of he and I.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2008): There is always going to be some part of you that will remember the good times of any relationship. I have been there myself and know this to be true. There's a part of you that will always be "with" him (and him with you). But the most important thing is to do what's right for you.
The only piece of advice to give here is to remain open to all the options laid out before you. People will enter your life that might be able to give you the things you desire most -- don't automatically close the door to them. Don't write them off because they want to be close to you. But as you say, keep in mind your higher purpose and not loose yourself. If you keep that higher goal of putting yourself and your interests first, you will be a stronger person. Also as time passes, you might find the person you lost... or you might find a different person that you like even more.
Best of luck to you in your discovery of yourself and what you desire most. It's not an easy path to follow... but it's the path that the most important one.
...............................
A
male
reader, wesley1977  +, writes (26 July 2008):
Maybe you should give him another chance,and don't give up on him.If there's love,there's also a way.
...............................
|
