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I'm sneaking out to meet older men

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 April 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

hey :)

well i am 15 and i am 16 in about 2 months!

i am you generall type of girl like to shop and go out with my friends.

But i have stearted to go out into town and meet older men which is not good as something happened which i deeple regret.I get a lot of attention off older men which sometimes makes me happy but mostly just makes me feel unrespected and that i am looked at like a sex object which i am not!

But to get to the point i really really like this guy and i dont think he even knows who i am and i really want him to notice me iand i dont know how to do that please help? and i think that even if i did get with him that means i would sort of have to have sex with him becouse he is a little bit older than me hes 18 and i dont know what to do!!

do i go for it and have sex with him or not??

thankyou xx

View related questions: notice me, older men

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

raiders agony auntJust because you are in a relationship that does not mean you have to have sex with your boyfriend. You should erase this thinking of your head, don't have sex just to get and keep a boyfriend. You should have sex when you love someone, having sex just to keep a guy is just not a good idea because you are going to get played, used and hurt by guys, you might also get a bad reputation. Be careful out there; OH by the way chasing older man is a BAD idea.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010):

Hi,

Just so you know, you don't have to have sex with a guy for him to like you. If you feel that you need to have sex with him for him to like you, then you shouldn't.

If you have sex with anyone before you are ready you will feel lost and confused and if he does not respect you after you have sex, it can be very damaging it is not worth it.

Wait until you find someone that will love you for who you are. I know you think that this guys is 'it' but there will be plenty more guys.

When it is right, you will not feel confused, you will feel certain that it is something you want to do.

Be patient.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (23 April 2010):

YouWish agony auntOh man. How is your relationship with your dad? Sex isn't what it means to a guy that it means to you. Guys don't put the emotional element into sex that you do. You need someone to love and care for you. You can achieve that without having sex.

You have a void inside you that you're trying to fill. You have to respect yourself and love yourself. You can't rely on attention from older men. You are lovable. You don't have to "put out" in order to get what you need.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2010):

Gosh, going out with someone older doesn't mean sex sstraight away. HOw immature are you girl!? Seriously, if you really like hima nd he respects you, go out and then worry about sex after you've been going out for a while and you trust him. HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT FOR GOD'S SAKE.

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A female reader, Kassi (Nova) Canada +, writes (23 April 2010):

Kassi (Nova) agony auntHonestly, at some point, you're going to have sex whether or not other people think it's right. And, this guy is only two (or so) years older than you.

I would wait until the age of consent, because at your age, it's considered Statutory Rape, and if the guy is caught, he'll go to jail. Don't rush these things. You can like him, you can make out with him, and you can date him. But you're not obligated to give him access to your vagina just because he likes you.

It seems to me that you look for validation and flattery from older men, and then feel bad about it later. I think that there's a strong chance you'll feel even stronger about involving sex in that need.

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