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I'm sleeping with my best friend but he has a girlfriend

Tagged as: Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 June 2007) 8 Answers - (Newest, 3 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

i have fallen in love with my best friend we have been sleeping together for 4 months but he has a girlfriend what should i do

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A female reader, phoebemay United Kingdom +, writes (3 July 2010):

hey, so-

i'm only eighteen so i don't know all that much about being "in love" but, i've been sleeping with my best friend for eight months, and he has a girlfriend. Its a different situation to yours a bit i think, and i realise that you may think i'm deluded and completely wrapped around his little finger but i think he loves me because i know him. He is, despite everything else we've put eachother through and all the things we've done, my best friend. So i trust him, because i have no choice-i believe him, he's all i believe in, as the person i chose to love most in the world for (originally) his friendship.

So i guess what i'm trying to say is, for a really long time i listened to other people telling me he only wanted me for one thing, and i believed them because it sounded like i should. So i didn't believe when he said how much he cared, and that's a betrayal of friendship. I always, deep down, believed that I knew the truth, and that he really felt it too. If this guy really is your best friend, and you trust him like you should, then belief in him and his character should be your gut feeling. If it is, then have an honest conversation with him and follow your heart. If it isn't, then is he even your best friend, babe?

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A female reader, zylvb Philippines +, writes (19 February 2009):

it's really hard to accept the fact that your in love with your best friend but he has a girlfriend. we have the same situation and i know it's really heard to overcome that situation. but for what i experience some boys are just using girl.. the term bestfriend are just there but they has an hidden agenda too.. it's really hard to find best friend that boy whom you can trust.. and for my opinion we really have to move on...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

i def know what your going through..i have been waiting for as long as you and he tells me he cares and likes me alot but yet he is still with his girlfriend..thats never gonna change..i know it but will i accept it...i think i've really fallen in love with him..i always enjoy the time we spend together and he is my bestfriend so its like how could you not fall in love with him ? but its hard b.c like everyone else is saying...how could you trust him after he did what he did..ughh boys...they can break us so easily..i would try not talking to him and letting him know how you feel

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007):

i'm in a similar situation with an iranian man who i love and have been with for 6 yrs. after 3 he went to his homeland and returned with a wife. we were together first. our relationship never changed except i can t go to his place when she 's in town. i feel bad about it, but, i never find anyone else i love like him. i go out rgularly and date other men.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2007):

hey honey.

ive been in exactly the same situaltion for about 4 years. my best friend.. we can call him angus and i were sleeping together for years, always going out to dinner, movies, saying i love you, kisses the whole deal. i waited and waited and changed so much hoping one day we can offically be together. then he got this girlfriend. we remained best friends but recently we have started sleeping together again. ive become jealous and pretty much insane and im tearing our friendship apart but i cant stop even tho i can see myself doing it. bail out as soon as possible because it doesnt get any easier. all you loose is self respect and self esteem. it hurts i konw.

best of luck.

from

the stupid best friend

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2007):

What shall you do? Do a reality check my friend... you are worth alot more that being the other women, the sneak object for your so called best friends sexual satisfaction.

How could you trust a man who cheats on his girlfriend and lo and behold, your not respected by him at all. If he cared for you and your friendship he would of not gone there with you. You are confused I can tell, but you honey can "snap out of it"... Let's face it, most men cannot have just 1-women in their life's.. there is one they are with and have a relationship then there is the one who is a side-thing which is you and right now you seem very unimportant to him because he dosn't give a *%*" about your feelings, but only to satisfy his sexual pleasures. This is a waste of time and you are dealing with a not-so-healthly situation because this is tearing you apart when you are hoping. It won't change.

What is worst if he ever leaves his girlfriend he will not see you as the same, because he knows that you knew he has a girlfriend but you crossed that line with him. Men are funny, this is how they think... he will not trust you.

Trust yourself to do the right thing. Cut-it and get out of this heart-ache. Remember, he see's his girlfriend more than you so this leaves you out in the cold.

Please take care.

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A female reader, bubbloo24 Isle of Man +, writes (24 June 2007):

bubbloo24 agony auntSorry hun, time to take the reality pill. He's using you. All guys like the idea of having two girls and this is exactly what he's getting. He's using you for extra sex - not because he has feelings for you.

Time to get rid of him. You and his partner are worth more than this. Kenny is right - what makes you think he wouldn't do the same to you if you were his partner?

He seems like a waste of time to me. Find someone who'll respect you and not use you for sex.

How would you feel if you were the partner????

Can you even begin to think the heartbreak you are laying out for her when she finds out? It's not IF she finds out, because one way or another she will find out. It's best to end it now to stop this situation stretching not that it won't unravel if you end it now or later or not because either way everyone is going to get hurt.

Sorry but you have to end this now. You have to put your feelings aside, I know it's hard but it's what must be done. He's taken and he's using you. Realise your self worth.

x

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (24 June 2007):

kenny agony auntHe has been sleeping with you for four months while all the time he has a girlfriend. I really feel sorry for his partner here, after all he has been two timing her all this time with you.

You say you love him, but is the love reciprocated for you?. I say this because in the four months you have been sleeping together he is still with his girlfriend. And if he did ever leave her for you what makes you think he woulden't have a four month sexual affair with someone else behind your back, like he is doing now.

k

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