A
female
age
30-35,
*hizzle
writes:hey...im scared to have sex soberso im 18 n lets jus say ive made a few mistakes with guys wen ive had a few too many to drink. but the problem is that im actually terrified of takin that next step with a guy i do like-without alcohol to soften the blow! what happens if he thinks i was shit-least with one night stands im unlikely to see them again n have to face themwhen i sleep with someone on a one nite stand (i always feel horrible in the mornin-i dnt mean to do it, and i have laid off the drink majorally) at least were both drunk-n its a bit of a drunken mess- but when i think about 'said' guy seein my body (i used to self half quite badly n have dreadful scars) and im slightly plumb, i feel sick, n the thought of havin to see him afterwards, its jus messin me upi rly want to sleep with this guy- we both want it to happen-he said he's not gonna rush me-bt i dnt want to keep him waitin.i dnt know how to get rid of this fear- n i dnt wanna make my performance shit either. HELP ME PLEASE
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): hay there im exactely the same! Honestly
I just to drink and the only time i ever used to get naked or even half naked was when i was drunk - now though ive given up drink completely and i have a b/f. nothing has happened but i know that when im ready it will and that will only come through our relationship growing and me learning to trust and have faith in both him and our relationship to think that it won't matter.
Even if your not a sex goddess at first part of the fun of being in a relationship where you trust someone is that you can make mistakes and have a hell of alot of fun practising!
If he cares about you he will wait (mine is) and when your ready for that next set it will happen but intil then don't rush things and just enjoy getting to know each other.
One last thing do you do anything other than sex ie oral? If you are then both your b/f and you are still being pleasured without the pressure of going all the way.
I hope this helps.
Take Care
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): I think your situation is fairly common across both sexes. Many people enjoy the self confidence alcohol can give when it comes to being seen naked/having sex with their partner; it stops you feeling so uncomfortable, right?
Although, my guess is that you aren't feeling very comfortable with having these one night stands, you aren't really gaining anything from them, as you describe them as a 'big mess'. The trick to feeling comfortable with someone during sex isn't so much 'being able to have sex sober' but finding someone who you trust and can relax with. Take it slowly with this guy that you like, get to know him, and if he's a decent guy he won't try to rush you into sex. As far as your body is concerned, men love curves! What I see as 'wobbly thighs, stomach etc' are my boyfriends favourite parts of me. Men love the softness of female bodies and most would rather have something to grab onto than try to cuddle up to a bag of bones any day! Most men don't even care about scars/stretchmarks either- they're just grateful you're in bed with them! Take care x
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